Wind of Change
by Ms Starlight
Summary: Logan and Max take a road trip Sequal to Wild is the Wind
1. Part 1

Rating: R (this part not so much, but I don't want to be shifting ratings on my series....and trust me, it WILL get R)

Disclaimer: DA is not mine.

A/N: I know, I borrow song titles too often, but I thought I'd stay with my little wind/song theme from before. I tried to make this so even if you haven't read _Wild is the Wind _you'll still kinda get it...but, since you might not, here's a quick run-down of what you missed:

**Zack came back, took Max away. Back in Seattle, Lydecker had found out about Max doing foot work for Eyes Only and captures Logan (who can walk by the way). Max comes back to save Logan, has a confrontation with Lydecker. Zack shoots Lydecker (who is assumed dead) and Max rushes off to find Logan, whom she kisses when she finds him. Lydecker's body disappears (might still be alive) and Zack, seeing he could never make Max happy, leaves Seattle. Max and Logan decide to go after him...**

Wind of Change

Part 1

Max leaned against the back of the elevator as it rose up the length of Foggle Towers to Logan's private penthouse. The fact that the man even _had_ a private penthouse spoke volumes about him. He liked privacy, and didn't mind throwing his money around to get what he wanted. She's always been amazed at his ability to get things done. He seemed to have an endless supply of sources and "close, personal friends" that allowed him to set up just about anything he desired.

Distantly, she wondered how he referred to her to when he talked to his close, personal friends.

His partner? Friend? _Girlfriend_?

The metallic elevator doors swung open in front of her as the lift came to a cushioned stop. She stepped out and, not wasting her time with knocking, walked brashly into his penthouse. Max only bothered to ring his doorbell or knock when she thought he wouldn't be home or would be brooding.

"Logan?" she paused in his living room, rubbing her palms against her rough jeans. He was the only man in the world who could make her sweat with anticipation. A little disgusted with her inability to control her hormones, she walked toward his office.

"You around?" she called again.

"Right here." His voice came from behind her, spinning her on her heel as he walked out of his bedroom. His hair was darkly wet and the scent of shampoo and soap clung to the air around him.

Max took a long, deep breath before flashing him a smile.

"You paged?"

"A couple hours ago," he replied, lifting his eyebrows.

"I was tied up," she shrugged. "Seems like you used your time productively though." In truth, she'd been unable to get away from work the entire day. Normal's average "bip bip bip" of once per hour had increased to once per three seconds. She had no idea how he kept from developing a throat disorder with all the yelling he did.

Running one hand through his wet hair, Logan motioned toward her with the other one to follow him. She fell obediently into step behind him, which gave her an excellent view of his shoulder blades. As shoulder blades went, they were very nice.

"I've been checking hotels and boarder crossings trying to track Zack," he announced. "Hadn't had much luck until this morning."

Chewing thoughtfully on her bottom lip, Max leaned over his shoulder when he sat down in front of his computer and began pulling up files.

"You'd noticed that Zack's hair was longer?" he asked.

"Yeah, to hide his barcode," she nodded. "So what?"

"He got a haircut and got the barcode removed yesterday," Logan announced. "I've been regularly checking tattoo parlor records...not that a lot of them keep the best automated records...but, it seems we're in luck."

"Where at?" Max asked, leaning further over him and squinting at the screen to read the small print.

"Coeur D'Alene, Idaho," Logan replied. "Ever been there?"

"Dunno," she pulled back. "I've been most places in North West, don't remember most of them by name."

"It's nice," Logan announced, leaning back in his chair. "Or, it used to be. Haven't been there since the pulse."

"What were you doing in Coeur D'Alene?" Max asked, not sure she really wanted to know. Logan, apparently, had been everywhere, and each story involved some lady friend she really didn't want to know about.

"Road trip," he replied vaguely. "How far do you think he could have gotten since then?"

"Well...he seems to be taking his time," Max balanced her elbows against the top of his chair and leaned on them. "Don't suppose you have a map?"

"Right here," he grinned, obviously proud of himself, and pulled one up on his computer.

"Coeur D'Alene...there...he should be much further than that by now if he was really on the run," she muttered, tracing along a highway route with her finger. "He could head into Canada, or go south...might head into Montana but that highway leads basically south, and I don't know why he would do that. Wyoming seems like the last place he'd be headed."

"Maybe he's up for confronting some of his demons?" Logan suggested.

"Not his style," she shook her head. "He wouldn't just walk into Gillette like nothing happened."

They both paused to think, and Max became quite suddenly aware of her close proximity to Logan. His normal scent was intensified ten times by his shower and by her newly increased rate of breathing. Her heart slammed into second gear as the heat from his body began to penetrate her skin. Closing her eyes to contain her raging desire for him, she realized that she was making a fool of herself and carefully distanced herself from his chair.

"Maybe we could ask a few questions around Coeur D'Alene," she suggested, pretending to be fascinated by the door frame.

"Not going to let me out of that vacation idea, are you?" he asked with a laugh. He had been the one to suggest leaving Seattle to search for Zack, something which had surprised Max. The two mixed about as well as oil and water.

"Not a chance," Max grinned, turning once again to face him.

"Hungry?" he asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

"A little," she admitted. "What've you got up your sleeve?"

He got up, stretching, and gave her the kind of grin that told her he had something new and innovative in mind. The man was a master with food, doing things with it Max never even bothered to imagine could be done.

As he walked toward the kitchen, he fired off a long, French phrase which loosely translated meant "meat in sauce." Slightly amused, she walked behind him, taking note of the fact that he wasn't wearing socks or shoes. The rest of his body, which she forced herself not to dwell on, was covered by a pair of cargo pants and a green tee-shirt with bright yellow lettering.

Max herself had on a pair of tight jeans, and a navy blue shirt cut just a little too short.

Outside, darkness was quickly falling and, as Logan began cooking dinner Max turned on the lights. The moment was filled with a highly domestic air and, not for the first time during the night, she had to restrain herself from allowing her imagination to get away with her. It was only too easy to imagine herself shacked up somewhere with Logan, and, for a girl who needed no sleep, she'd had plenty of time to hammer out all the juicy details.

Joining him once again in the kitchen, which was filled with the heavy aroma of dinner cooking, she flopped down in a chair.

"Long day?" he asked without turning around.

"Definitely long," she nodded, even though he couldn't see the gesture.

"You're welcome to crash here," he announced, then paused. "In the guestroom of course."

"Of course," she replied, accidentally letting the comment slip past her lips. She wasn't at all sure if she'd meant it to be sarcastic or in agreement. Sleeping with Logan...well, _that_ wasn't a good idea. Not that it didn't sound good, it sounded far better than good...but it sounded brash.

Then again, who'd ever said Max was prudent?

"That needs to cook for a while," Logan announced, turning around in front of the stove. "Do you really want to go to Coeur D'Alene?"

"I'd like to find Zack," Max shrugged. "If he's in Coeur D'Alene, then I'd like to go there." Logan walked over to her, setting himself in a chair nearby.

"What are you going to say to him when you find him?" he asked, resting his chin in his hand.

"I'm not sure," Max admitted. "But I can't let things between me and my only family lay so screwy." An odd look came to Logan's face, and Max immediately realized her poor choice in words. She wasn't sure, however, if his response was one of humor or pain.

"What are you going to tell everyone?" he asked, a mischievous glimmer in his eyes.

"My friends are used to be disappearing every once in a while," she shrugged.

"But they're not used to you disappearing with me," he replied, a slight hesitation in his voice.

"I'm sure they'll draw their own conclusions anyway," she rolled her eyes, thinking of the millions of times Kendra and Original Cindy had referred to Logan as Max's rich boyfriend. No matter what she told the two, they'd assume the trip was a chance for Max and Logan to be alone and get a little private playtime. The idea itself wasn't a bad one, and had Max's relationship with Logan been like _that_, she would have jumped at the chance.

"How about Normal?"

She'd almost forgotten about him. Vacation time was non-existent in Normal's method of thinking. Max would have called him a number of awful names for it had he ever taken one himself, but she got the feeling that Normal worked to put meaning into his life. She couldn't really blame him for clinging it to, and expecting others to as well.

"I'm sure I'll come up with something," she said after some thought.

For a few minutes, she and Logan sat in companionable silence. Something fundamental had changed between them since the morning she'd saved him from Lydecker. There was still a level of tension between them, but a good amount of it had been replaced with an odd kind of patience and comfort Max had never experienced. She suspected the tension was purely hormonal, creating a deep dread and odd excitement concerning her next period of heat.

Carefully, she cast her gaze up from the floor where it had been focused and observed the man sitting across from her. The air about him was completely unthreatening. Logan exuded a kind of instant likeability and charisma. He was intelligent and determined...Max admired his unwavering determination even if it could be his most irritating feature.

As she watched him, one of the muscles in his jaw flexed. The small twitch was almost imperceptible, but Max was uncommonly observant.

"Something up?" she asked.

"Hmm?" Logan seemed to step of out some waking dream he'd been having.

"You're a little preoccupied," she pointed out.

"Am I?" he met her gaze. "Guess I was just...thinking about things..."

The purposely vague answer got under Max's skin. _She_ was the one who got to be mysterious, and she didn't like Logan taking over her role.

"Really? What kind of things?" she pressed.

"Nothing important," Logan replied, sending her a disarming smile. That boyish grin he tossed so easily about made Max's insides melt. Somehow, she managed to keep a semblance of composure as he got up to check on their dinner.

Their relationship was an odd creature. Business partners, but more than that. Friends...but somehow more than that as well. Max was never quite sure what they were. She walked in and out of his house at will, and he reserved the right to ask favors of her. They shared in romantic dinners, played chess long into the night, and had even kissed. Yet, there remained the employee and employer aspect. Certainly, Max had never had dinner with Normal...definitely never kissed him. Why were things with Logan so different?

Max ran to him when he paged, compared to her lightly shrugging off Normal's bellows and bip bips. She fantasized about Logan, more than she'd ever admit. She told him her secrets, bared herself to him in more ways than she'd ever let anyone else see into her. Logan, in turn, treated her to all the lavish things his money could buy, used his sources to facilitate her need to find her siblings. True, there was no exchange of love, but it was certainly as close as Max had found to it in her life. Excluding maybe Zack...although she was somewhat unsure how she felt about his love.

Logan didn't need her as often as he had when he'd been in a wheelchair. Their working relationship had diminished, and the void had been slowly replaced by friendship. It was obvious that he cared about her, only she wasn't sure the nature of his caring.

She was much too aware of how she'd like him to show her how he cared.

"Ready to partake of my masterpiece?" Logan asked, waving a spoon in the air flashily.

"Ready as I'll ever be," she nodded.

Logan set a plate before her, and the couple quietly began eating. The light clank of fork against plate filled the air as both chewed thoughtfully.

"When are we leaving?" Max asked.

"When do you want to leave?"

"I think we'd better go soon," she replied. "He'll get too far ahead of us."

"He's probably already pretty far ahead of us," Logan pointed out.

"Maybe not," Max retorted. "Took his sweet time getting to Idaho."

"Tomorrow or day after?"

"Tomorrow?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Good."

"Okay."

Silence fell between them again. Max distractedly finished off her dinner, scraping the plate in an unladylike fashion with her fork to get the last of it. She stopped short of actually licking her plate -- something she only did in private. Somehow, she didn't think Logan would overly mind had she actually done it, only she couldn't bring herself to perform the disgusting act in front of him.

"Gotta blaze," she announced. "Things to do. See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, tomorrow."

***

"Your what?" Kendra asked, standing behind Max as she packed.

"I'm going on a little trip," she repeated.

"Where to?" Kendra pressed. Max turned on her heel to look her roomie in the eye.

"Idaho."

"Idaho? What the hell is in Idaho?"

"From what I hear, potatoes."

Max turned back around, shoving more items of clothing into a black duffel bag. Kendra watched from behind her as she packed, casting close scrutiny on each item.

"Oh!" Her hand came up to cover her mouth, as if she'd just had a revelation. "I know what's going on!"

"I suppose you're going to tell me," Max rolled her eyes.

"You packed your sexy underwear, Max," she grinned. "You're going somewhere with a guy...your rich boyfriend maybe?"

"He's- "

"Not your boyfriend...I know." This time Kendra rolled her eyes. "But, you are going with him, aren't you?"

"Maybe."

"Ha! I knew it!" She pointed a long finger at Max, then gave a small laugh of pride in herself for figuring it out. Grinning, she flopped down on Max's bed.

"It's purely business," Max insisted.

"Yeah...business," Kendra laughed. "If that's what you like to call it. You two are just gonna run off and bang each other...we both know it, Max."

"We're not going to bang each other," Max sent Kendra a weary look.

"Yeah, Logan doesn't seem like the banging type...maybe screw is the word I'm looking for." The dangerous look Max sent Kendra following this comment effectively shut her up for the next ten seconds.

"So, when are you going to be back?" she asked, careful to hide her smile.

"Few days," Max shrugged, having no real time frame in mind. Although, she wasn't sure how much time she could spend with Logan without any of Kendra's prophecies coming true to come extent. The man did have a way of crawling under her skin. She guessed that after breaching the walls surrounding her tightly guarded heart, getting into her pants wouldn't present much of a challenge to him. 

As appealing as that thought was, she pushed it to the back of her mind.

"Do me a favor and keep an eye on my baby," Max said, zipping up her bag. "Just finally got her back from when I left her in Montana...can't believe I'm going to leave her all alone again so soon."

"The motorcycle will be fine," Kendra promised. "I won't let anyone touch it...not that anyone who knows you ever would."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You'd rip their arm off, Max," she replied, as if it were inconsequential. She got up off the bed and walked back out into their sparse living room. "If you want, you can call and I'll let you talk to it."

"Her," Max corrected. 

"Right....her," Kendra smiled sarcastically. "Listen, I've got a date tonight...your leaving early I assume. So, since I'll probably be getting up late...I should probably say goodbye to you now."

"Who with?" Max asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Kendra replied saucily, then smiled warmly and pulled Max into a long hug. "If anything happens between you and Logan...which I still think something will...you've got to give me all the juicy details."

"Whatever," Max laughed.

"I'll see you later, Max," Kendra replied mistily.

"Have fun," Max tossed after her as she walked out the door.

"You too!" she yelled from the hallway.

Kendra wasn't the sort to dance around an issue, and was blunt to a fault. Shaking her head, Max walked back into her room to make sure she had everything she would need. As she looked through her clothes and came across a pair of exotic looking panties she hadn't even realized she'd packed, she wondered if Kendra was more in tune with what was going on for once than she was.

Not quite displeased, she shoved the garment back into her duffel bag.

**Okay, yeah, I'm obviously feeling highly shipper-ish tonight**


	2. Part 2

Rating: R

Disclaimer: I don't own DA

A/N: I expect my Logan clones to arrive any day now Jen.... :-) Anyway, for the rest of you all, enjoy my following moments of shipperness. By the way, mysophobia is the fear of contamination or germs...took me forever to find the actual name of the phobia for out dear friend Normal (so one of my all time favorite characters...he should get his own show someday)

Wind of Change

Part 2

Logan walked into Jam Pony, dodging numerous people on bikes who were peddling as fast as they could with packages in hand. He'd never seen people more eager to make deliveries. Whatever new strategy Normal had devised, it obviously was working brilliantly.

His hands shoved into his pockets, he sauntered up to Normal who was standing waving his arms in the air as if he were doing semaphore. The picture he presented was mildly humorous. All of his employees scrambled to stay out of the blonde man's way, ducking around corners and riding their bikes through at break neck speed.

Normal turned in time to see Logan walking up to him, and sent him a nasty glare.

"I'm assuming your here about Max," he sighed. "Since she's not here, I'm assuming she must have found a pot of gold and doesn't need a job anymore, or is dead."

"Not quite dead," Logan shrugged. "Max is sick...throwing up and all that."

"Great," Normal rolled his eyes. "Doctor's note?"

Logan handed him a slip of paper which Bling had kindly forged. It wasn't quite the honest approach to getting Max off work, but it was a hell of a lot easier than explaining they were off in search of Max's genetically enhanced brother.

"When's she going to be back?" Normal asked, reading quickly over the curving scrawl of the note.

"Doctor says she'll be down for about a week," Logan replied.

"A week?" Normal's pupils dilated. "What the fire truck does she have?"

"Some kind of highly contagious stomach virus," Logan replied. "It's pretty nasty. I was over there this morning, she's hurling all over the place, has a high fever...not pretty."

Normal's faced blanched and he took a step away from Logan.

"At least she's got the sense to keep it at home with her then," he snorted. "Tell her not to come back until she's sure she's better."

"Will do. Thanks, Normal," Logan grinned. As he stepped away, Normal went to sanitizing the area in which Logan had stood, drenching the air with anti-bacterial chemicals.

As Logan walked out, he nearly collided head on with Original Cindy, who was riding in. She swerved to a stop and leapt off her bike.

"Hey there, Logan," she smiled. "S'pose you know where my homegirl is? Not like her t'be late for work."

"Max is back at my place," he replied truthfully.

"Ah...I see," Cindy smiled knowingly. "You all's finally got it on."

"No, actually," Logan replied, looking down at the fiery woman, "Max and I are leaving town for a while. If Normal asks, she's sick."

"A'ight," Cindy nodded, light arching through her dark curly hair. "Where you and my Boo going to?"

"Idaho..." Logan replied, realizing for the first time how silly his answer sounded.

"Idaho?" Cindy sounded surprised. "Not what Cindy expected, but whatever."

Logan sent her a smile he hoped would stop her from asking more questions.

"Listen," Cindy's mood suddenly changed, and she jabbed Logan in the chest with one of her fingers, "you'd better be for takin' good care a my Boo. Understand? She comes back with one hair on her head outta place, an Original Cindy will go medieval on your skinny white ass."

"Understood," Logan replied, trying to hide a grin.

"Other'n that," she cracked a bright grin, "you be for doin' whatever with her you want. You know...action an all."

Logan flushed with embarrassment. He and Max had known one another for a long time, but their relationship had never taken on that face. Sure, they'd kissed...more than once -- actually, three times, but who was keeping track? Other than those few encounters, they existed in a somewhat comfortable companionship. Sex was something that, though Logan had defiantly considered it, wasn't on the foreseeable horizon.

"Got a run for you!" Normal yelled from somewhere behind Logan. He came up to them and handed the brown paper wrapped item to Cindy, being sure to keep his distance from bio-hazard Logan. He scurried away quickly, covering his nose.

"What's with him?" Logan asked.

"Dunno," Cindy shrugged. "Gotta blaze, tell Max that Original Cindy says hey."

"Alright," Logan nodded. Package in hand, she pedaled away, leaving Logan standing in silence for a few moments. Conversations with Cindy never lacked confusion on his part. She used phrases he had to admit he didn't fully understand, but he knew her heart was always in the right place. Max had a knack for choosing friends.

Yawning from a sleepless night, he walked out to his Pontiac Aztec and started for home. Max was waiting, and she wasn't the most patient woman he'd ever met. Bling was keeping her company, but God only knew what sort of conversation they'd gotten into.

Logan trusted Bling explicitly, but somehow he couldn't help but worry that his friend would mention some little thing Logan had once said, or done, which would set Max off.

As Logan walked into Foggle Towers, he was met with Bling coming out. Seeing him without Max made Logan's heart drop into his shoes. A ridiculous fear that something had happened to her, or she'd left him, dug and roosted within him like a parasite.

"Bling, where's Max?" he asked, worried.

"Right where you left her," Bling replied. "Did the note work?"

It took Logan a moment to process and work out the relief that ran hotly through his blood.

"Yeah, it did," he finally managed to reply, swallowing hard. "Max was right about Normal's mysophobia. He practically drenched the place in bleach to get rid of the germs I could have been carrying."

"Maybe he's OCD," Bling suggested. "He'd be an interesting case for any psychiatrist anyway."

"Yeah," Logan agreed. "I'm surprised they're not all over him like sharks drawn to a bloody carcass."

Bling laughed and slapped Logan gamely on the back.

"You'd better get up there to Max," he suggested. "I don't know how long she'll wait for you."

Bling knew all of Logan's soft spots and knew exactly how to manipulate them. Logan, giving Bling a farewell wave, sprinted boyishly toward the elevator. Once inside, he slid his key through the small slot and impatiently pressed the button that would take him up to his penthouse. The entire way, he fidgeted.

"I was just coming to see if you got stuck," Max announced when the elevator doors swung open to reveal her standing on the other side.

"Had a short conversation with Cindy," Logan explained. "She says hey by the way."

"Oh..." Max chewed on her lower lip and followed Logan back into the penthouse. Her black duffel bag sat on his couch next to his own suitcase. He was mildly surprised by the fact that he'd packed more than she had. Valerie had always packed as much as she possibly could to go anywhere. He was surprised she hadn't packed just to go to the store. Max, however, was a light traveler, probably due to her training.

"Normal said you don't have to come back until you're sure your better," he announced, retrieving his things.

"I'm impressed," Max laughed. "You're a better liar than I give you credit for."

He gave her a look that said he didn't appreciate the comment. She merely smiled charmingly. She was dressed in a short pair of jean shorts and a tight, black tank top that Logan had to admit showed too much skin to leave him comfortable. As he picked up her duffel bag and handed it to her, he wondered if similar outfits were inside. He definitely hoped so.

***

Max and Logan had been driving for a little over an hour and had run out of things to talk about. She sat quietly in the passenger seat looking out the window as trees flashed by. The strobe light effect they produced made her eyes heavy. The classical music Logan had playing wasn't helping -- some piano concerto or sonata.

She was an intelligent woman, more so than people really gave her credit for, and the song was not lost on her. The gentle, repeating beat, and flowing bars of runs made the purpose of the song very obvious. It was a love song. Some creation a long dead composer had constructed for his long dead girlfriend. There wasn't a single harsh cord in the entire piece.

Her head touched the glass window, sending the vibrations from the car through her skull. Somehow, it made her more weary, although her tiredness wasn't so much leaning toward sleep as much as a faint dreamscape.

She was zoning when Logan suddenly asked her a question.

"Huh?" She blinked, disrupted by the sound of his voice.

"Are you hungry?" he repeated, a little slower than necessary.

"Why?"

"There's a town in a couple miles and if you're hungry we can stop and get something to eat."

Traveling with Logan was strange. With Zack it had been: leave early and don't stop until you get where your going. Logan, however, was apparently used to being able to take his time; another sign of his affluence. Although, she got the feeling she and Zack were destination oriented because of their training, and the feeling that someone would someday catch up to them if they didn't keep moving. Max still looked over her shoulder every few steps.

"We're only an hour out of Seattle..."

"Well...I just thought you might be hungry," he shrugged. Max stared at him for a second, wondering if he was really worried about her or if he was embarrassed to say that he was hungry.

"Are you?" she finally asked.

"Am I what?"

"Hungry."

"No, I just thought you might be."

A little confused, but oddly pleased, she turned back toward the window to hide her smile. Max had never had anyone really worry about her before, not like Logan did anyway. Or, maybe it was just different when he did it.

_ He's so cute when he worries..._

Max figured she was making progress, not having mentally chastised herself for liking having his concern. It was something, a step toward humanity. Max somehow never felt quite human, partly because she wasn't really human. When Manticore made her, they borrowed from a plethora of other species. The cat genes that let her jump also made her fundamentally different from other females. Manticore hadn't been overly concerned with their soldiers someday having children, and the only time Max was fertile was when she went into heat.

Even should she someday decide to be a mother, more problems presented themselves. Her DNA was so scrambled that her children could come out with any number of traits. They could have barcodes on their foreheads, have serious problems with their brain chemistry, or be so screwed up they would never function normally in society. She didn't know if she could live through loosing a child, or even seeing one's life ruined by their genomic heritage.

Despite her tough girl attitude, Max had strong maternal instincts. She loved children, could never turn her back on one. They were the one thing that really got to her, mostly because they reminded her of her own flawed childhood. So, she felt the need to protect them from becoming something like her.

"You're quiet," Logan noted. "Worried about him?"

"Who?"

"Zack."

"Zack can take care of himself," Max shrugged.

"Then what are you thinking about?" Logan persisted.

"Worried about my ninja," she lied. The last thing she was about to do was tell Logan she was worried she'd never be able to have children. That was something she didn't intend to share with anyone anytime in the near future.

"I'm sure Kendra will take good care of it," Logan smiled.

"Her," Max corrected.

"Sorry...her." His response was exactly the same as Kendra's had been, only hers had been filled with sarcasm. Logan's was careful, and definitely not mocking. She appreciated that.

"S'okay," she shrugged.

"Do you want to listen to something different?" he asked, motioning toward his CD player.

"What've you got?" she asked.

"Everything," Logan smiled proudly and handed her a thick CD wallet to flip through. Max set it on her lap and leafed through it, taking note of the names of some of the older bands and the wide variety which Logan owned. In the end, she chose a high energy, loud band. She needed to stop thinking so much and spice up their trip a bit.

Pushing the CD in, she listened with a grin as the roaring riffs and drums filled the car. She bobbed her head lightly to the beat at first then, as Logan sent her an amused grin, abandoned herself to a moment of silliness. Confined by her seatbelt, she danced to the song. Logan tapped his fingers against the steering wheel and tried to watch her and the road at the same time, which he was pathetically bad at.

The dancing got old in roughly fifteen minutes. They desperately needed some topic of conversation. The silence wasn't uncomfortable, but Max felt the need to fill it.

"You never really told me what was up with you going to Coeur D'Alene," she finally said.

"I told you, road trip," Logan replied.

"Well, could you elaborate a bit?"

"Me and a friend took a road trip there when I was about seventeen," he shrugged.

"You took a road trip to Idaho? Couldn't find somewhere more exotic to go?" she asked, not believing him.

"I wouldn't be knocking it if I were you," he said pointedly.

"Guess you have a point," she admitted. "Who'd you go with?"

"A high school friend of mine," he answered.

"Male...female? Name?" Max persisted.

"Male," he replied. "Scott. His parents and mine were friends, we'd known each other for a long time. Over spring break, we decided we needed to take a road trip and Scott had family in Coeur D'Alene, so we went there."

"No lady friends involved?" Max asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Not even one," he grinned.

"Then why all the secrecy?" she demanded, still skeptical of his story.

"A guy's got to have some secrets," he shrugged. "You're not the only one who gets to be mysterious Max." She got the feeling that he was playing with her mind, and she didn't really like it. Logan was one of the rare people who could meet her eye level in an argument, definitely one of the only people who could manipulate her. If he was playing some kind of game, which she immediately suspected he was, she could play too.

"You've got nothin' compared to me," she replied, squaring her shoulders.

"You're probably right."

What the fuck is he up to?

"Oh, I'm definitely right."

"Yeah, I agreed with you, Max."

Slouching in her seat, she watched him as he drove. The muscles in his arms were bunched with the way he held the steering wheel and she had the urge to reach out and touch him. She stopped herself as her hand came up off her lap to poke at the tightly coiled bundle of muscle fibers under his skin. All the time he'd spent in a wheel chair had kept his upper body in superb shape, and she guessed his physical therapy had probably toned his lower body as well.

Her gaze strayed down from his arm to his legs, skirting by the area she wouldn't yet allow herself to stare at. That was too openly wanton...no, more than that it was too dangerous. Looking there lead to fantasies, to an insatiable urge to make all the rumors about them true. Her gaze locked on his knee she began to zone out again.

"You don't have to you know," he suddenly said.

"Have to what?" she asked, wondering if he somehow knew the direction of her thoughts.

"Have more secrets than me," he replied, turning momentarily to meet her gaze.

In reality, Max had never been as open with anyone as she was with Logan. Rarely would she not answer a question he asked truthfully. He knew about Manticore, about almost everything she did. In fact, she'd told Logan more about her life than he had about his own. She hadn't even realized he'd been married until Valerie had shown up on his doorstep.

"Why, you from some covert military operation too?" she asked, becoming a little defensive.

"It was called The Logan Cale project," he replied. "They specialized in making dorky men obsessed with saving the world."

"They did a pretty good job," she replied. "Except they may have missed their mark a little on the dork part."

The smile Logan sent her was worth a million black ninjas. The compliment had been discrete, but she'd definitely complimented him. She returned his brilliant grin with her own soft smile and immediately turned to look out the window again. The effect of the smile stayed with her though, creating a tingling sensation in her stomach. Despite herself, she wanted to lean over and touch his lips with her own...maybe do a lot more.

_This is going to be one long trip..._

_**_Not the most exciting part I've ever written, is it? More action in the next one, promise! I'm completely filled up with caffeine, so I'll probably be up at three in the morning working on it...**


	3. Part 3

Rating: R

Disclaimer: I don't own DA

A/N: Sorry this took so long to get up! I actually had it done Sunday night, but I've been figuring out this chaptering thing...I hate change, lol! 

Wind of Change

Logan stood in the middle of the hotel room and yawned. He stretched his lanky body with his palms facing the ceiling. The action pulled his shirt up, revealing his navel, and he lazily scratched his stomach. It was deep into the night, and he was exhausted. They were still a few miles from Coeur D'Alene. The going was slow, and after the third bottleneck Logan had insisted they wait until morning to continue on.

Max, of course, had offered to drive so Logan could just sleep in the passenger seat but, like any self-respecting man, he hadn't been able to allow that to happen. So, she sat on the bed giving him a stormy look. Despite her insistence that they needed to get there as soon as possible, Logan didn't think that Zack was moving too quickly. He had no real reason to get on his motorcycle and ride off into the night as fast as he could.

"I'm going to shower," Max announced.

"I think I'm going to have to hit the sheets," he replied, walking over to his bed. There was a level of disappointment in him that the room had two beds. Next time, he vowed to stop in a smaller town that might only have one bed rooms. He felt only slightly guilty for plotting to get Max into his bed. After all, he wasn't so much as considering doing anything with her. Well, maybe he was _considering_ it, but his intentions were merely to be close to her.

He flopped down onto the bed, laying on his back. His head resting on his folded arms, he watched Max bent over her duffel bag. Her position offered him a nice view of her rear, which he thoroughly enjoyed before she finally found the few bathroom products she'd brought along.

"Better get your sleep, we're leaving early," she said pointedly, tossing her chin high in the air. Without another word, she walked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

Pushing himself up off the bed, Logan peeled off his shirt and reached for his suitcase.

"And another thing-" Max came sprinting out of the bathroom, and came to an abrupt stop, her eyes like saucers when she saw Logan, standing half dressed beside his bed.

"What?" he asked, suddenly a little self-conscious. Her dark eyes locked on him, for once on his body and not with his own eyes. Sub-consciously Logan inhaled, puffing up his chest.

"Never mind," she squeaked and, squaring her shoulders, shut herself back in the bathroom. Logan stood, frozen in position for a moment. The sound of her turning on the water brought him out of the immobile state he'd fallen into. Shaking his head, he shoved his shirt into the suitcase and followed it with his pants. Maybe sleeping in his boxers was playing some kind of game with Max, but he didn't really care.

Yawning, he tossed back the covers and climbed under them. Rolling onto his side, he turned off the light and faced away from he light spilling out from under the bathroom door. He could hear the light break in the spray of the water as Max stepped underneath it. He figured he probably would have fantasized about that longer had he not been so tired.

Moments later, Logan feel blissfully asleep.

***

Max let the steamy water pound against her back. The image of Logan standing in the middle of the hotel room, his shirt dangling from his hand, filled her head until it drove her crazy. Their relationship had undergone a significant change since she'd run back to save him from Lydecker, but it wasn't quite _there _yet. No matter how much she wanted to jump out of the shower, dry off, and leap into his bed...she couldn't. They weren't like that.

_ Not like that...look at me, standing in the shower all hot and bothered just because he didn't have a shirt on. Face it, girl, you like him a lot._

Distractedly, she poured shampoo into her hand and worked up a lather in her hair. Viciously, she scrubbed her head, seeking to clean her thoughts as well as her dark tresses. Her fingers dug into her scalp, the dim pain giving her something else to focus on.

Back under the water, she rinsed the dirt and images away, watching them go down the drain. They returned moments later when she picked up the soap and began a through scrub down of her entire body. Max showered as if she were washing a car, never paying much attention to her body as she did so. However, with Logan so close at hand she became only too aware of the effect he had on her.

All she had to do was walk out into the hotel room, and it would happen. The thing everything between them seemed to be inevitably leading up to. Or, would Logan push her away?

_ He's a man...he wouldn't say no...but he's no ordinary man..._

Disturbed, she finished and shut off the water.

Wrapping a towel around herself, she caught sight of her form in the foggy mirror as she stepped out. She could almost hear Kendra and Original Cindy urging her to give in to temptation. Max wasn't the kind to regularly be presented with something she couldn't say no to. She prided herself on her ability to remain firmly in control in almost any situation. The fact that she lost all semblance of control around Logan made her nervous.

Quickly, before she had more time to think about it, she dried off and pulled on a pair of flannel shorts and a t-shirt to sleep in. She would have felt safer in a sweater and two pairs of pants with belts, even then she wasn't sure she could remain firmly planted in her own bed for the night. Not for the first time, she wished that she slept more. It would be very hard to lay awake with him so close.

Pulling a wide toothed comb through her hair, she bravely opened the bathroom door and walked out into the darkened room. Her night vision being as good as it was, she could make out Logan laying asleep, his back to her -- his wide, bare back. The covers were even with his first rib, doing nothing to hide the fact that he had fairly well defined pecks.

Cussing fiercely under her breath, she turned off the bathroom light and got into her own bed. She crossed her legs and sat facing the wall as she finished combing through the rest of her hair. Desperately, she tried not to think of him.

She could smell him, could hear him breathing. Her inner Original Cindy suddenly started speaking again.

_ Why keep puttin' it off, Boo? Rich boy's right there, ain't nothing stopping you._

Nothing stopping her, besides the fact that sleeping with Logan would make everything different. She couldn't sit in the car with him knowing they'd made a mistake, enveloped in an uncomfortable silence. His friendship was worth much more than a night of fun, but she wasn't so sure anymore that friendship was really all she wanted out of their relationship.

Turning around, she looked over at him. His spiky hair was crushed against the fluffy, white pillow and his glasses rested on the nightstand between their beds.

Time, they needed time. Eventually, things would work themselves out and she would be ready to tell him about all the confusing emotions rising up in her heart.

***

Morning didn't come soon enough for Max. When the sun finally did peek through the window she leapt up out of bed, eager to leave. Unthinkingly, she leaned over Logan and gently shook him to wake him up. He rolled over onto his back and opened his eyes, blinking a few times. His handsome features were magnified by sleep, and he looked almost childish as he rubbed his eyes.

"What time is it?" he asked groggily.

"Time to get up," Max replied.

"I more meant an hour of the day," Logan replied, flashing her an unhappy frown, his eyes drifting shut again.

"About five thirty," she answered, taking a moment to look at the clock radio which was displaying a series of red, digital numbers.

"Five thirty?" he demanded. "Give me another hour."

"It's getting light out," she pointed out.

"So."

"So, that means it's time to get up."

"You need to learn the joys of sleeping in," he grinned, closing his eyes sleepily.

"I don't sleep," she reminded him.

"Then at least let me."

"No...get up." She reached down to pull him up out of bed, and was surprised when he reacted by pulling her down and rolling over to pin her. The position she found herself in turned her on a little, but Logan had already faded back into sleep. His head turned away from her, he lay on his stomach now.

Max wasn't quite sure how to handle the situation. One of his arms, his shoulder, and part of his chest held her down. Granted, she possessed the strength to throw him off her at any given moment, but as she laid half under him she was too uncomfortable to consider doing so.

"Shit...Logan," she jabbed at him. He groaned and rolled a little away from her.

"Go to sleep, Max," he demanded.

"Logan!" she hissed. "Let me up!"

"Let me sleep," he mimicked her, somehow still witty even when he was only half awake.

"Fine...just get off me!"

Obediently, he rolled away and she leapt out of bed faster than she had her entire life. When she looked down, Logan was laying on his stomach, fast asleep.

Her chest heaved with her heavy, disturbed breathing and she struggled to calm herself down. The incident stuck with her for the following hour as she disappeared into the bathroom to get dressed and then ordered room service.

Logan groggily came to again as Max began digging into a plate piled with French toast.

"Good morning...again," Max said, sending him an irritated stare.

His sleepy eyes landed not on her, but on what she was eating.

"Where'd you get that?" he asked.

"Room service," she replied. "You can have some...maybe." He rubbed his eyes and tossed off the covers. He was wearing only his boxers, making Max's moment under him only more powerful. She shuddered and swallowed hard.

"Smells good," he yawned, pulling a shirt on.

"Not a Logan Cale masterpiece, but they're not bad," Max replied sarcastically.

"Well...can't expect everyone to live up to my cooking I guess," he shrugged. As if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, he stretched and walked into the bathroom. A few moments later he emerged and sat down across from Max.

"Sleep well?" he asked.

"I don't sleep," Max reminded him, not for the first time that morning.

"Right..." He reached across the table and picked up her fork where she'd set it down upon finishing as much of the French toast as she could. "Do you mind?"

"Have at it," she replied. Logan sliced off a large, syrupy piece and, using Max's discarded fork, shoved it into his mouth. She was immediately jealous of the fork. He chewed and watched her shift uncomfortably under his intent gaze.

"What?" she finally demanded.

"What do you mean?" he asked, apparently oblivious to how nervous he was making her.

"You're staring at me," she replied. "Do I have something on my face, or what?"

"Oh...no...sorry," he blushed. "I was just...spacing."

"When are you going to be ready to go?" she asked, not particularly in the mood for idle chat.

"I'll finish eating and hop in the shower and we can go," he answered, stopping in mid-sentence to chew and swallow another piece of toast. Max watched him eating and narrowed her eyes.

"You were hungry yesterday, weren't you?" she asked.

"Hungry now," he replied, evading the question.

"I'll call for some fresh towels," she rolled her eyes.

"I can use the ones you used last night, no big deal," Logan insisted.

"They're wet," she shook her head. "I'll just have them bring us up some." She called as he finished off breakfast, still wearing only his boxers and a long t-shirt. He had a massive case of bed-head, but somehow it only made him look more adorable.

_ All I have to do is walk over to him...it'd be as easy as that..._

They'd only been away from Seattle for a day, and Max was already struggling to keep her hands off him. She wasn't at all sure how he'd react if she were to just walk over and kiss him, but she had a pretty good idea. The previous kisses they'd shared, he definitely kissed her back. So, really, the only thing holding her away from him in that moment was fear.

"Logan?"

"Hmm?"

"Never mind..."

"Okay."

Sighing, she forked a hand through her hair. For a soldier, she was quite the coward. Couldn't even ask a man how he felt about her for fear that she wouldn't like the answer. What if she bared her soul only to have him tell her that he only wanted her as a friend...or even worse, as a business partner.

"How long until those towels get here?" he asked impatiently.

"Few minutes," Max shrugged.

Silence descended between them. Logan cleared his throat once as if he was going to say something important, but obviously swallowed the comment because it never came forth. In a like way to Max, he ran one hand through his disheveled hair.

"You look nice today," he announced.

Max didn't reply to his compliment, but looked down at herself instead. She hadn't paid much attention while getting dressed, having been a little distracted by her early morning encounter with Logan. However, she'd managed to put on a pair of tight, black pants and a navy blue shirt on.

Someone knocked at the door as she was about to thank him for the compliment. She got up, and upon answering it was met with a small man with an armful of fluffy white towels. There were many more than the two which she had expected.

"Oh...thank you." She took them from him, caught a little off guard by just how many he'd brought. When she turned around, closing the door with her foot, Logan was laughing.

"Better take some of those home for the stash," he grinned.

"Did you pay someone off, or what?" she asked, tossing two of the towels at him.

"I'll admit to nothing," he said, tossing his hands up.

"I can't believe you," Max laughed. "Get in the shower so we can leave."

"Yes, ma'am," he sent her a cocky grin. As he walked by her on his way to the bathroom, Max slapped at him with one of the towels. He jumped, turning around to counter attack with his own towel. She grabbed the end of it and attempted to yank it out of his hand, an action which only resulting in dragging him extremely close to her. The joking air bled away from the moment and the towels in her hands fell to the floor. His gaze met hers, and in a moment filled to the brim with insanity and sleep deprivation, their lips met.

It was a light brush at first, then clung and intensified until Max groaned loudly and opened her mouth to his tongue. His body loomed closer to hers, or maybe she was going toward him...she was never quite sure. Her hands came up, cradling his head and holding it firmly to her own.

It was just a kiss, a very simple thing, but as kisses went it was one of the most exciting Max had ever experienced. She could hear Logan gasping for breath, his hands buried deeply in her hair as they ravaged one another's mouths. The intensity built steadily, until they were both struggling to stay upright and had to break away from one another to get oxygen.

After one quick, deep breath, they immediately began anew. Logan was, as Max soon found out, an expert kisser. His tongue did things with her own she hadn't imagined possible, filling her with his taste and a frighteningly strong desire to go much further. Her body drew closer to his until she was pressing inch for inch up against him. The jolt the simple contact sent through her system was the only thing that brought her back.

Quickly, she pushed him away, breaking the spell that had come over them. Both were breathing as if they'd just run a marathon.

"Max...I..." Logan tried to speak between gasps.

"Just go shower," she replied, not wanting to hear him say he was sorry. In truth, she wasn't sorry it had happened, it was inevitable that it was going to. She was only sorry that she wasn't ready for the baggage that came with that kiss. Never before had she experienced contact with another person that held behind it so much leashed passion, bordering on violence.

He turned and disappeared into the bathroom without saying anything more, leaving Max to stand among a pile of carelessly dropped linens and unravel her confused emotions. Original Cindy's sage voice entered her head.

_Ain't nothin' wrong with followin' your feelings, Boo. Bottom line, you'll just be unhappy if you don't._

**I've come to just accept that this is a highly dialogue oriented fic. Anyway, I'm off to watch the rest of the Super Bowl**


	4. Part 4

Rating: R

Disclaimer: I don't own DA...but if you want to pay me, like, off the record.....

A/N: Okay, yeah, it took me a while to get this part out...I think I had an emotional breakdown or something. It was pathetic, be glad you didn't see it. Lot's of bawling. Besides that, I've been swamped with school (part of the reason for my small breakdown) and I've been really wanting to start this new fic, but I've promised myself I'd finish this one first! 

Wind of Change

Part 4

Logan had no idea why the man from the desk had brought Max so many towels, but he certainly didn't mind taking the credit. Standing alone in the bathroom with the taste of her still lingering on his lips, he felt the highly unmanly urge to giggle. The morning had certainly been more profitable than he'd ever dreamt it would become.

She'd kissed him...or maybe he'd kissed her. Either way, it had been amazing. No, beyond amazing. His entire body still tingled from the contact.

He tried not to concentrate on what had just occurred as he quickly showered, but couldn't seem to push the event out of his head. The tally in his head moved up to four.

When he emerged from the bathroom, freshly showered and brightly happy, Max was nowhere to be found. He wasn't surprised, she was used to running from things she couldn't face. For the brave front she put on, Max was very much a child inside -- not having been able to emotionally move past her tortured time at Manticore. Logan himself had to admit to a low level of emotional maturity. Often, he didn't know how to express to Max how he felt and cared. Indeed, he thought many times he was showing her how much he loved her only to have the whole event blow up in his face.

Humming lightly to himself, he began repacking all of his things. As soon as Max got back from wherever she'd gone, she was going to want to leave, and Logan didn't want her to have any excuse to be mad at him.

He was on his knees, closing his suitcase when she walked in.

"Have a nice shower?" she asked, not looking at him.

"Very nice," he replied. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Yep."

There was a short, slightly uncomfortable pause.

"Are you going to get up off the floor so we can leave?" she finally asked, an edge to her voice. The slight fluctuation was oddly pleasing to Logan -- at least this kiss had effected her. As if her groaning and pressing up against him hadn't been enough to prove it to him, he had to hear uncertainty in her words to believe it. 

A little embarrassed, he got up, taking his suitcase with him. Max grabbed her small, compact duffel bag and motioned eagerly for him to walk ahead of her. 

"Where'd you go?" he asked.

"To check out," she replied as if she resented him for making her walk down to the lobby while he enjoyed a hot shower. 

"Oh..." 

Silence fell between them again as they walked down the steps leading out into the wide lobby. The room was carpeted with a rich, dark crimson carpet and had a high ceiling with hanging lights. Every piece of furniture in the entire room was focused toward the fountain in the middle. The comforting sound of the water gently slapping seemed to ease both Max and Logan out of their stiff post-kiss demeanor.

"Do you think maybe he'll still be there?" Max asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

"You mean Zack?" Logan asked, thrown off a little.

"No, Santa Claus," she rolled her eyes. "Of course Zack."

"He doesn't seem like the type to stay in one place very long," Logan shrugged, not really qualified to answer the question. In the limited time Logan had spent with Zack, he'd seen nothing but his rough outer shell. He got the feeling that the man was hiding things, and very adept at keeping them concealed. 

"Sometimes I feel kind of sorry for him," Max admitted as the couple walked past the fountain and toward the doors. She opened her mouth to continue, but whatever she had to say was interrupted.

"I hope you two enjoyed your stay!" The tiny man who had brought them the towels waved emphatically from behind the counter.

"Yes, we did very much...thank you," Logan called back. The man's eyes, however, were on Max as he waited for her recognition. 

"And the lady?" he prompted when she made no move to respond.

She gave Logan a look that clearly conveyed her distaste, but an elbow to her side quickly wiped the expression away.

"I had a wonderful stay," she smiled, her grin dripping with sweetness. "Thank you so much for all the towels, you were a real life saver." She walked over to the counter and leaned across it, putting her head close to the very excited man's. Logan followed her, interested in what she had to say.

"Well...anything I could do to help," he grinned, his fiery gaze pinning Logan momentarily. He shined with pride, gloating with the fact that this woman was leaning seductively over the counter toward him, the position of her arms giving her instant cleavage.

"You have to do something about those bathroom floors," she said, her voice syrupy. "They're very cold. We spread the towels across most of it, but they kept moving...Logan's quite the animal."

Robert's face -- Logan could read his name tag as he stepped back -- grew bright red.

"We really should get going," Max announced, sending Logan an overly suggestive look, then turned back to the embarrassed employee. "And thank _you_ again."

Logan wasn't surprised at her act, only in that it had for once involved him. He got a sick kind of pleasure out of the fact that she'd never avoided him in such a way. Having her talk to him in that voice would have surely undone him. Maybe she somehow knew that it would push him over the edge, make him do something stupid.

"That work for you every time?" he asked, looking down at the top of her head as they walked to the car.

"Every time," she replied, casting a smile up at him. "My secret weapon."

"You might want to use it more carefully," he retorted, imagining the two of them rolling around on the hotel's bathroom floor.

"I'd teach you, but you already got the flattery thing going for you," she snorted in return. "'Probably the most singularly beautiful face I've ever seen' -- ring a bell?"

Logan was embarrassed at having the event thrown back at him. He hadn't intended to go as far as he had with the flattery he'd used on Max. She was much too easy to compliment, and things had come rushing out of his mouth before he'd realized what they were. Nevertheless, she couldn't accuse him of fibbing, she did have one of the most beautiful faces he'd ever seen, even if he'd only been able to tell her on one flawed occasion. 

"Well..." he drawled, "I suppose it wasn't really quite truthful. I mean...'probably' -- that was bad word choice. I should have used 'definitely.'"

The comment got him a firm smack to the chest from Max's free hand. 

Smiling to himself, Logan tossed his suitcase in the back of his car. Together, in a friendly silence, they traveled toward Coeur D'Alene. 

***

"Early twenties...blonde...seen him?" Max fired off the question by rote. She'd asked almost everyone in the town, and though most had admitted to having seen him, none seemed to know which direction he had gone. The tall woman she was talking to narrowed her sharp blue eyes as she thought.

"Tall? Big guy? New in town?" she finally asked.

"Yeah, that'd be him," Max tried not to get her hopes up. "Know which direction he went?"

"Oh yeah..." the woman grinned to herself. "Guy like that, a girl pays attention, know what I mean? I was kind of hoping he'd stay around since we don't get many new people around here anymore. Tourism dropping and all..."

"Which way?" Max asked, not wanting to hear the woman's life story. Logan was waiting outside the salon in his car, doing his own search on his lap top. 

"Which way? You trying to find him?" 

"Yeah, which way?"

"Who's he to you?"

Max sighed, tired of all the questions people kept asking in response to her questions.

"He's my brother," she finally replied.

"You two don't look much alike," the woman said, suspicious.

"I'm adopted," Max replied. "Which way?"

"Last I saw, he was going east," she finally relinquished the information. "Don't know why he'd go that way, there's nothing there. Few big cities I guess...Missoula, Bozeman and all."

The woman's definition of big cities was obviously flawed by her upbringing in a relatively small town. 

"Thanks for the help," Max smiled charmingly, and spun on her heel, eager to leave the woman behind -- knowing all the while she was more eager to get back to Logan than escape idle chatter with the dark haired woman. Their relationship had taken an interesting turn since their kiss. Casually, Logan's hand would brush her own, and neither of them would pull away. The ties that bound them had pulled tighter, brining them into a new stage. While the new kind of friendship they had frightened her a little, but she also found it invigorating.

"Get anything?" Logan asked distractedly when she got into the car.

"East," she replied. "You?"

"Nothing." A frown marred his handsome features for a moment, causing Max to casually pat his shoulder. The action was almost completely foreign to her. Certainly, she'd never had the urge to do it before. Remotely, she wondered where it had come from.

"I still think he's got to be heading for Canada," Max insisted, leaning back in her seat and taking a moment to look at the people walking idly past on the sidewalk.

"It would have been easier for him just to go strait north from Seattle," Logan replied, biting at his lower lip as his eyes carefully surveyed the screen of his lap top. "He's got to be headed back to Wyoming."

"Why would he go back there? It doesn't make any sense," Max protested.

"Sure it does," he insisted, raising his gaze to meet her own. 

"How?" she demanded. "How does it make any sense?"

Logan gave her a look that told her he didn't want to explain and began to fumblingly form a sentence.

"Well....for a guy like Zack...I mean, in his situation...Lydecker and you and all...maybe he thinks its time to...uh...you know...ante up."

She chose not to question the statement and sat for a moment in silence trying to see things from Zack's point of view.

"Okay, say he is going back to Gillette," she finally said. "How long would it take us to get there?"

"Ten, twelve hours maybe," he estimated.

"Which means, he could already be there." She rested her chin in her hand, torn between north and south. "If we could get there in ten to twelve hours...I could scope the place out and find out if he's there. If he isn't, we could try Canada with only having lost a day or so."

"Is that a plan?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Gillette is more dangerous than Alberta...I think we've got to check it out."

Logan nodded and looked back down at his computer. Distractedly, Max surveyed the town around her. Coeur D'Alene was really a very affluent little place. The streets were clean, and the people looked happy in a naive kind of way. Instinctively, she knew few of them had stepped out of their little bubble of paradise. None of the people walking by turned to glance behind them or stepped over people laying in the street. The stark contrast between them and herself was remarkable. 

"I can see why he came here..." she muttered, mostly to herself. 

"Why's that?" Logan asked, assuming she was talking to him. 

"The people here are so...oblivious...in a charming sort of way," she replied, gazing upward as she spoke. "You know, like kids...completely unaware that people all over the world are suffering." 

"Ignorance is bliss," he shrugged. "Anyway, I'd suggest that these people's world is vastly smaller than yours or mine. So, to them, no one is really suffering." 

"Gillette was that way," she sighed, only faintly remembering the actual town as she fled through it. "Everyone knew about the base, I don't think they knew exactly what was going on though. All the Manticore people though...they were their neighbors, you know? I don't think they could believe that any of them were doing the evil things they were." 

"Not everyone at Manticore was evil," Logan reminded her. "Hannah...and I'm sure there must have been doctors who thought they were doing something for the betterment of mankind." 

"Like you." 

"Are you implying Eyes Only is evil?" 

"Depends how you look at it," Max smiled. Logan sent her a look of confusion, but she broke eye contact with him to convey that she didn't want to explain. Thankfully, he didn't ask her to. 

There were times when Max hated Eyes Only. Logan could become so absorbed in his job that he saw nothing else. There were weeks when Max was positive she could run through his penthouse naked and he wouldn't even notice. As selfish as it sounded, she wanted for once to be more important than the cause, worth more consideration than people Logan had never even met. 

"Do you want to look around here more, or start toward Gillette?" Logan asked, closing his laptop. 

There was a part of Max that wanted to turn tail and run. Soon, the land would flatten out into seas of golden grass, bringing them closer to her own personal hell. Gillette was only a few miles from a monument aptly named Devil's Tower. Max herself had never seen it, but she took it as a sign that the entire area was cursed. 

"We've been all over this place," she sighed, swallowing her fear. "Guess we might as well go." 

"You sure?" he asked, concern shining in his stunning blue eyes. 

"I'm sure." She sounded more confident than she felt inside. Coeur D'Alene had held her hopes by the hand. Before arriving, she'd entertained dreams of finding Zack riding his motorcycle down the street. Presently, as she and Logan drove out of the charming town, she found herself wandering through the river Styx for him. 

She missed him horribly. There was something indescribable that he brought into her life. No one could replace it, not even Logan. Logan though...he was something else all together. Zack was her brother: an embodiment of safety, unconditional love, and family. Logan, he was passion...all the emotions Max forbade herself. 

Smiling softly to herself, she closed her eyes and envisioned Zack -- tall and strong. With him at her back, Max knew she couldn't be harmed. She didn't worry about Lydecker when she was with him, didn't gaze up toward the sky wondering when everything would come crashing down on her. Granted, they didn't have a traditional brother-sister relationship. They'd been through a lot more together than most siblings. 

Zack was confused, having mistaken his love for his sister with his love for a woman. Max figured she probably would have made the same mistake at some point in her life had she not met Logan. When he touched her, it sent lightning through her skin. Their relationship was highly charged, but lazily comfortable at the same time. It was the charge that enabled her to differentiate between her love for Zack and her love for Logan. 

"Did you want to call Kendra or Cindy?" Logan suddenly asked. 

"I suppose I probably should...make sure no one's blowing my cover by telling Normal I'm not sick." 

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small cell phone. 

"Mr. Over-Prepared..." Max joked, taking it from him. He smiled, keeping his eyes focused on the highway opening up before them. 

She quickly dialed and listened to the phone ring. Once...twice...three times, then Kendra picked up. 

"Hello?" 

"Hey, it's Max." 

"Max! I'm surprised you called," Kendra replied. "Thought you'd be a little indisposed." 

"How's everything?" Max asked, ignoring her comment. 

"Fine...and you?" 

"Fine." 

"Oh really? Just fine...Logan not great in the sack maybe? Calling to ask me to come save you? Or...maybe for tips." Kendra went on in rapid-fire fashion. "Listen, there are a few tricks to the trade, Max. Say, hypothetically, you and Logan are screwing, and it's just not happening..." 

"Kendra," Max interrupted her, not needing or wanting to hear her friends sex tips. She was sure that if she and Logan ever did sleep together, satisfying one another wouldn't be much of a problem. Just kissing each other that morning had nearly brought the both of them to their knees. 

"I'm just trying to help," Kendra insisted. 

"I know," Max rubbed her eyes. "I'm just calling to make sure no one's blown my cover." 

"You mean with Normal?" she asked. "Nah, I talked to Cindy the other night, and I think even if someone did he'd probably just think they were just trying to infect him." 

"How about my baby?" 

"She's fine," Kendra replied, accenting the fact that she knew the ninja was female. 

"You're not hanging laundry on her, are you?" Max asked. 

"Um...no, of course not!" Kendra laughed. "Why would I do that?" 

"Make sure its gone before I get back," Max sighed. 

"Take your time," Kendra replied, her voice bubbly. "Logan's not a half bad looking guy...he's no Mr. Multiples...but, who is? Anyway, I expect you to come back when, and only when, the two of you have things worked out. I'm sure you know what I mean." 

"Yeah, I know what you mean..." Max rolled her eyes. "I gotta blaze. Laters." 

"Bye, Max." 

She turned off the phone and handed it back to Logan, who had been listening to half of the conversation with mild interest. Max avoided eye contact with him, images of him laying on top of her, his skin pressed against hers floating through her head. 

_If things go on like this...I'm going to be finding a hell of a lot more of Logan than Zack..._

*I feel like these chapters are all so uneventful...I promise something will actually happen in the next one, I just have so much mental stuff to get past before things can get going!*


	5. Part 5

Rating: R

Disclaimer: If I owned any rights to DA I'd just steal Logan and never give him back...in other words, I don't own DA.

A/N: God...I want to just get this story over with!! I see an all night write-a-thon coming on. This fic is just a little bit too pointless to hold my attention for very long...I've got to throw in some action or something. Guess I better retrieve the Mountain Dew from the fridge...oh yeah, the song lyrics have nothing really to do with the story, I just am sitting here listening to "Take My Breath Away" over and over again and stuck it in.

Wind of Change

_"Watching every motion_

_In my foolish lover's game_

_On this endless ocean_

_Finally lovers know no shame_

_Turning and returning_

_To some secret place inside_

_Watching in slow motion_

_As you turn around and say_

_Take my breath away..."_

_-Berlin_

Zack looked up at the clear black sky that stretched from one flat horizon to the other. He recognized that sky, the way a person could get lost in it. He'd sat up at night as a boy and looked out his window at the Wyoming stars. They'd allowed him to escape from the dismal life he found himself destined to live. He could pretend that Manticore didn't exist when he stared at them, that he was of some higher purpose. 

Darkly, he continued down the sidewalk, thinking momentarily of Max. He missed her, but knew Seattle, somehow, was where she belonged. Faced with the fact that he could never have her, and with Lydecker being so close to her, he felt like he had to do something. Gillette was the last place in the world he'd imagined himself going, but the world had unceremoniously dropped him on his ass there after having wandered the northwest for weeks.

He passed by small, dimly lit houses. Shadowy figures passed by the windows as families sat down to dinner. The same families, more or less, who had sat down to similar dinners years ago while Zack had been trained to kill only a few short miles away. 

Everything about the night of their escape was clear in his mind...the cold, the snow crunching under his bare feet. He remembered standing and looking down at the collection of young children, their hair cut short and their eyes wide. He'd been one of them, yet at the same time, he wasn't. Zack was the leader, the big brother. He didn't get the luxury of fear, of having someone take care of him. Given the chance, he wasn't sure he would take it. Relying on other people produced weakness, and he was one person who couldn't afford to have a soft spot.

A smile cracking his rough demeanor, he thought again of Max and how she would respond to his thoughts. She'd accused him once of not being able to move past Manticore, and deep inside he knew that she was right. He resented it, but the place was a part of him, a dark scar on his soul.

Soul -- he wasn't even positive he had one. 

There was something in the way Max and Logan looked at one another that made Zack resentful. Not so much because he selfishly wanted Max for himself, although he did. In the end, whatever made Max happy was where she would end up, and that was what he wanted for her. What really made him angry was looking at them, seeing the happiness in their eyes, and knowing that it was completely unattainable to him. 

Forking his hand through his freshly shorn blonde hair, he imagined them were curled up on Logan's wide couch together, sipping expensive wine and watching some classically entertaining movie. He envisioned them wrapped in each others arms, filling the evening air with nothing but their soft breathing.

***

Rain splattered hard against the windshield, making it hard to see. Even Max was having a hard time making out the fine line where road ended and grass began. Logan was leaning forward, his eyes squinted. 

"Maybe we should stop..." Max offered.

"Maybe," Logan agreed. "Happen to know how far it is to the next town?"

"No clue, I thought you knew," she replied.

"How the hell would I know? I'm driving!"

"And you don't watch the signs as you drive?"

"Maybe if I could see them..."

"How the fuck am I supposed to see them any better than you?"

Silence descended quickly between them and Max crossed her arms stubbornly. The sound of the windshield wipers filled the emptiness in the car. Their rhythmic swishing calming their smoldering nerves. Max was struggling with being only inches away from Logan for hours and resisting the urge to touch him. Logan was facing a similar battle within himself, setting them on edge.

"It can't be very far," Logan announced, craning his neck to see a sign as they passed it. "Damn, did you get it?"

"Yellowstone River," she replied

"Well _that's_ helpful, this whole damn highway follows the Yellowstone River," Logan ground out, clenching his jaw. The action was unfamiliar to Max and reminded her distantly of Zack. 

"Just watch for an exit," Max said, angry again.

"I've been watching for an exit, I'm not a complete idiot," he shot back.

"Could have fooled me."

They both sat, fuming in silence for a moment until an exit appeared magically through the storm. Logan swerved, vaulting his car down it. Max, caught by surprise by the quick change in direction was tossed against Logan's side, her hand grabbing his thigh to steady herself.

"Maybe you should put your seatbelt back on," he offered as a response to her earlier cutting remark. Still half way across the car and holding onto his leg, Max tightened her grip in anger. He winced and shifted away from her before she released him. 

"Maybe you should keep your thoughts to yourself," she replied smartly.

As punishment, Logan lurched to a stop in front of a hotel with a bright neon sign as Max was climbing back into her seat. She lost her balance again, and dropped to her hands and knees, giving him an excellent view of her rear. She tossed him a scathing look for it, and before he got the chance to apologize -- not that he intended to -- she threw open the door and stepped out into the rain. 

It was coming down in sheets, and within minutes Max was soaking wet. Logan took his time getting out of the car and grabbing his suitcase as she waited for him. The hotel was small, it's neon sign which had looked so promising through the rain really just tacky up close. Not a Holiday Inn, but she'd stayed in worse places.

"Can I help you?" the man at the counter looked up at them when they walked in, soaked and angry.

"We'd like a room," Logan announced.

"Obviously..." the man drawled slowly. "Just one room?"

"Just one," Logan nodded.

"Right this way," he offered them a brittle smile and grabbed a key off the rack behind him.

Max followed behind him, fuming the entire way. She had no doubt that steam was rising off of her as her rising body temperature evaporated the rain. In truth, they both looked more like pissed off, half drowned rats. 

"You can pay for the room when you check out," the man announced, stopping in front of a door and pausing to unlock it. The door, which was painted a bland, but somehow disturbing shade of brown, swung inward and Max stalked into the darkened room. 

Rolling his eyes, and muttering "women" as if it explained everything, Logan took the key from the man and followed her inside. The door slammed behind him. Max stood surveying the room with obvious distaste.

"There you go Mr. Brilliant," she waved her hand in the air. "One bed...which this entire room hardly fits! Oh, but look...we did get a TV from the 1970's."

"You can go sleep out in the rain if you want," Logan retorted.

"You know, what the fuck crawled up your ass?" Max suddenly spun around and demanded. "Everything was fine and then all the sudden, you start being all pissy!"

"Me? You started it!"

"Like hell I did!"

"You did!"

"I did not!"

They stared heatedly at each other for a few moments, only inches apart. Logan's nose nearly touched Max's as they fought to be the last one to show weakness by breaking the stare.

"You can take the damn bed," Logan announced bitterly, casting his gaze down to the floor. There were some fights that would never be won with Max, and when matching up their determination, she would almost always come out on top. Manticore had at least given her that much, she couldn't be intimidated and she almost never backed down.

"Why? So you can act all pathetic tomorrow? I don't think so! You take the bed," she fired back.

"I'm not going to let you sleep on the floor," Logan replied.

"I don't sleep."

"So you keep saying," he retorted. "But if you don't sleep...why are you so fucking worked up about the damn bed?"

"Me? You're the one making the big deal about it!" Logan's face was suddenly centimeters away from her own.

"My patience is running really thin, Max," he announced hotly. "If you don't quit fighting with me about every little thing I'm going to -"

"What? Hit me?" Max demanded, calling his bluff.

"I'd never hit you," he replied, still within her personal space.

"Then what are you going to do?" she taunted. "You've got nothing to threaten me with."

Anger flashed through Logan's eyes like lightning moments before thunder rolled through them. He grabbed her roughly and, dragging her up against him, slid his mouth over her own in a kiss that was demanding and violent. He forced his way into her mouth, only to retreat moments later when Max's jaw dropped, giving him complete access.

His grip slowly loosened as their anger sprung from sexual tension transformed into passion. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, hauling her body roughly up against his own. She brought her hands up and buried them in his still wet hair. Their breathing heavy, she was only distantly aware of the low sound of Logan groaning.

He made a low, throaty sound and backed up with her until they ran into the small dresser holding up the 70's era television. The collision only seemed to make them more frantic for each other and the kiss became wildly frenzied once again. They bit one another, invaded, there was no gentle coaxing. Logan turned away from the dresser, and Max, standing on her toes, pursued him. He continued to back up with her until they found their way fumblingly to the bed, having already run into every other object in the room.

Max, all of her sanity gone, followed him down, climbing eagerly on top of him. He grabbed at her clothes, the tension rising to unbearable levels. Both were gasping for breath and Max was straddling Logan, pinning to the bed.

"Oh...God, Max," he managed to grind out between gasps as her hips instinctively moved against his own. The action, or the intense pleasure that it brought, seemed to bring both of them back. Max looked down at him, shock in her eyes. Logan's look was comparable only to a deer caught on a dark lonely road at night.

"Logan..." she breathed. "What are we doing?"

He stared up at her.

"I don't know...what are we doing?" he asked.

She stared back down at him, not having moved from her position on top of him. Her hands rested on either side of his chest, his hands were on her hips. 

"What just happened?" she asked, more to herself than him.

"Whatever it was," Logan breathed, "it was amazing."

The comment earned him a quick slap to the chest with the back of Max's hand, breaking the serious tone of the moment and allowing them both to laugh. Still fully dressed, they sat in the same position for a few more moments before Logan broke the silence.

"Max?"

"Yeah?"

"We don't ever have to...I mean...if you don't want to...if you don't feel that way about me..." he stammered. Max looked down at him in disbelief, wondering how he could think that she didn't feel that way about him when moments before she'd been about to tear off his clothes.

"It's just...it's not right to do it in anger," she replied, still a little breathless.

"You're right..." he agreed, nodding. She sat up, covering his hands with her own momentarily as she rolled off him to lay beside him. On their backs, they stared up at the ceiling. 

"If we weren't angry..." Max murmured, still tingling from the contact she'd had with him. Max wasn't innocent enough that she was oblivious to what she was feeling. She wanted Logan, badly. From what she could tell, he wanted her to. There was no reason that two adults such as themselves couldn't sleep with one another...

"If we weren't angry," Logan repeated, "it'd be okay."

"Right."

"Are you angry?"

"Are you?"

"Not anymore..."

Max rolled onto her side to look at him, wondering if what they were considering was a gigantic mistake. As embarrassed as she was to admit it, Max was afraid. Afraid Logan would reject her, afraid that things wouldn't be the same in the morning. However, she was also realistic enough to realize things between them were at a fragile turning point. She didn't know if this moment in a run down hotel miles from home was their signal to move things further.

"I'm not really mad anymore either," she admitted, looking into his eyes. 

"Do you think...I mean..." Logan struggled through his normally flawless sentences.

"Do you think?" Max asked.

"Yeah...I kind of think..."

"Me too."

He rolled over to face her, his face once again close enough to hers that she could smell him. She breathed in his scent, made heavier by their earlier endeavor. 

"What were we mad about in the first place?" he asked.

"The bed...the rain," Max replied.

"Right. Silly things."

"Right."

His hand came up, pushing a strand of hair off Max's cheek. The simple brush of his fingers across her skin made her shudder and she closed her eyes to relish the feeling. He laughed lightly, pausing to tease her ear.

"Logan?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm scared..." She swallowed and opened her eyes.

"Of what?" he asked, concern radiating from him.

"Of this," she replied, looking away from his eyes. "This thing between us."

"You don't need to be," he replied, his touch becoming increasingly tender. "You don't need to be scared with me, Max...ever. Trust me?" His hand traveled down her side, coming once again to rest on her hip.

He didn't ask her if she loved him, that was one thing she wasn't ready to say. He merely asked for her trust, for her to believe he wouldn't hurt her. No pledges, no promises...just trust. That was something Max could handle.

"I trust you," she replied, leaning forward to kiss him lightly. His lips smiled under hers and he kissed her back, delicately. The embrace was slow, giving both of them time to adjust to yet another shift in their relationship and fully enjoy what the other had to offer. Max took the opportunity to rub her face against the ever present stubble on Logan's jaw, to fully explore all the recesses of his mouth with her tongue. The gentle, undemanding exploration served to re-arouse their drive and before long they were gasping again.

Logan rolled on top of her, pinning her down.

"Kendra will be so proud," Max laughed, pushing her hands up under his shirt.

"Why's that?" Logan asked as he nibbled at her ear.

"She's been trying to get us together since we met," she laughed. "Everything to Kendra's about sex."

"You're going to tell her?" he asked, following suit but pushing his hands under her shirt as well. He explored her back as Max shakily answered the question.

"No...I don't think so," she replied. "Private things should remain private."

"Nice policy," Logan replied, smiling. 

"No more talking," Max insisted, kissing him. She pulled her body down against hers. They'd waited long enough, and Max wasn't known for her patience. 

"Mmm...Max..." Logan sighed as she reached down to unbutton his pants. 

"Logan, you should have enough breath to talk right now," Max gasped as the teasing intensified.

"Right...sorry," he apologized. As they carefully shed their clothes, he eventually found out that she was right when being with Max so easily took his breath away. Entwined, they filled the night with their breathless, unspoken professions of love.

*Two in one day...pretty impressive, huh? Even managed to connect the song...lol! I'll try and finish tomorrow*


	6. Part 6

Rating: R

Disclaimer: I own nothing...except Logan's heart (I don't care what you all say, he loves _me_!) ... just kidding

A/N: Aromagik, thanks! It's all good, all the time...I'm going to adopt Herbal's philosophy as my own :-) You're review made me grin, you're awesome! As for the rest of you, why can't you be inspiring like that in your reviews? Just kidding, lol. Anyway, I'm thinking the seventh part is going to be the last one in this series, and I'm still not sure how it's going to end...

Wind of Change

Max was awake, but she was much too comfortable to open her eyes and get up. She could feel Logan's breath on the top of her head, and his arms were wrapped protectively around her. The warmth radiating from his body relaxed her muscles, making her not want to break the fragile moment. Her head resting on his shoulder, she mentally relived the night they had shared together...

Logan had been a gentle, reverent lover. He'd touched her as if she were made of spun glass. Max had never experienced such carefully loving sex before. As if that hadn't been enough, it had also been...amazing. A goofy smile plastered to her lips, she scooted closer to him. 

One of his legs was still slung over her, and her head was tucked securely under his chin. They'd been in roughly the same position since falling asleep. Their scents mingling to create one aroma that was distinctly _them_. Max buried her face momentarily against his chest to inhale that delightful smell. 

"Max..." Logan groaned sleepily, his eyes fluttering open to look blearily down at her. 

"Hmm?" 

"What are you doing?" He yawned and clutched her closer. 

"Nothing," she replied, pulling her face away from him. 

Logan let out a long, lofty sigh and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. His fingers teased her back with wide, comforting circles. Max's own hands were pressed against his strong chest, the heat from his skin seeping into her own. 

"Did you sleep well?" he asked casually. 

"Yeah. You?" 

"Wonderfully," he smiled. He opened his mouth to say something more but stopped himself. Instead, he treated Max to a gentle squeeze and moved to get up. 

"Not yet," Max commanded, pulling him back beside her. She was shocked to find just how immediately after he moved away she missed him. He gave her a curious look but settled back into her waiting arms. 

Max cuddled up to him, clinging to the moment. She knew that the moment they got dressed the walls would come back down. The events of the night before would be attributed to their being "emotional" and unceremoniously dismissed. If these were the only moments she could have as Logan's lover, she intended to make the most of them. 

"Is something wrong?" he asked, concern lining his magnificent voice. She'd never really noticed just how amazing his voice was until she'd heard it used to groan her name. Pained, she pinched her eyes closed and tried to scoot even closer to him. 

Logan's free hand lightly petted the back of her head. 

"Max? What is it?" The lining of concern in his voice before had turned fully to worry. 

"Nothing," she insisted. "I just don't want to...I don't want to get up yet." She hadn't been able to bring herself to say it, that she didn't want to let him go. That she couldn't bare to have all the progress that they had made forgotten. 

"I thought you didn't sleep," he replied, a low chuckle rumbling through his chest under Max's ear. 

"I don't want to sleep," she retorted. "I just don't want to get up is all." 

"You don't mean that you want to...you know?" he asked, shock the newest emotion to creep into his tone. "I mean...if you wanted to...that'd be okay...you know?" Max grinned inwardly at the way Logan's usually masterful handle on words failed him when it came to sex, but somehow stayed intact in other situations that would turn most men into blubbering piles of skin and bone. 

Max wasn't sure how to reply to his question. She wanted to -- God, she wanted to -- but repeating the act would only make things more difficult when they discovered the huge mistake they'd made. However, laying in his arms she was finding it very difficult to say no. Logan, obviously, wasn't having very many regrets if he was suggesting they sleep together again. 

"Do you want to?" she asked, refusing to be the one to make the decision. 

"Last night was..." Logan paused, as if searching for the right word. Max braced herself for the rejection she heard coming. "...stunning," he finally finished. 

"That's a shitty answer to a question, Logan," she replied. 

"So was yours," he retorted. 

She looked up at him, peering into his achingly clear eyes. They weren't clouded like they had been the night before with hunger and heat. In the dim morning light, they were completely lucid. Choosing to take their relationship to another level the night before had been hormones, presently the choice was vastly different. Logan was no longer asking only for trust, he wanted more. 

Max wanted to give him more, but she wasn't at all sure that she had anything more to give. 

"I can't help but feel that something's wrong," he pressed. 

"Nothing's wrong," Max insisted, a little too vehemently. 

"Are you regretting it?" he asked, undeterred. "We can forget it ever happened if you're regretting it." 

"Shut up, Logan," Max raised her hand to cover his mouth. She rolled on top of him, looking down into his eyes. They were all together more amazing when unshielded by his glasses. Her nose touching his, she spoke, her lips nearly brushing against his. "I'm not regretting it." 

"You're sure?" he asked persistently. 

"Yes, damnit," she sighed. "How can I prove to you that nothing's wrong?" 

"You sound just a little to insistent about it," he replied. "Like maybe you're trying to convince yourself and not me." 

"If you look for trouble, you'll find it," Max replied, digging her fist into his ribs. "Don't make me say that nothing's wrong again." 

"I'm just trying to make sure we're not making a mistake," he insisted. 

"Logan..." Max rested her forehead against his, not sure where to start reassuring him while she was being troubled by the same issue. "If I thought this was a mistake, I probably would have been gone before you woke up." 

The truth in her words surprised even Max. Why hadn't she left before he got up like she normally did? Banging the gong was fun, but she hated dealing with the emotional entanglements that came afterward. For some reason, with Logan she'd simply cuddled closer and patiently waited for his eyes to open. 

"Max?" 

"What?" 

"You honestly can say to me you don't think that was a mistake?" She was still on top of him, but she still felt out of control. The way things were spiraling out of her grasp made her insides clench violently together. 

"Are you saying you think it was?" she replied, her defensive walls rising firmly into place. 

"I don't know..." he shrugged, trailing his fingers up and down her back. "I'm a grown man Max...hell, I've got about ten years on you. I think maybe sex has become something different to me than it is to you." As she looked down at him, reminded not only of the emotional rifts between them but the rift of time, she couldn't help but think that Logan resembled more of a teenager to her than a man in his thirties. His expressions, his idealism, his naivety all belied the time of his birth. Not for the first time, she wondered how he could have possibly remained so innocent through everything. 

"How so?" she finally asked. 

"Less of a hobby, more of a..." he hesitated, crinkling his nose as he finished, "human connection." 

"I'd say we connected pretty well," Max replied. 

"That's not what I meant..." 

"I know, but this really is a chat better left for later," she scrunched up her nose in the same way he had, somehow she doubted the expression was as cute on her as it was on him. Logan was one man who, in her eyes, could do no wrong. As far as she was concerned, he could quit bathing and -- given time for adjustment -- she would still find him adorable in a playful kind of way. As disgusting as the thought sounded upon further thought, she was glad that he was as fastidious about hygiene as he was about Eyes Only. 

"No, Max, I think now's the time," Logan insisted. 

"Did you take a class on ruining the moment?" She asked, reaching behind her to take his hands in her own. "Because, you're really good at it." 

"Max, you're not listening," he replied, narrowing his clear, ocean blue eyes. 

"Of course I'm listening," she said sweetly, bringing his hands up to pin them above his head. "You want to talk...blah blah blah." 

"Max," an edge of irritation was beginning to line his voice. "I'm serious." 

Using her strength to keep him from flailing, she sent him a mischievous grin. On top of him, she slowly began to slide down. He was substantially taller than her, and she physically couldn't continue to hold his hands above his head and still seduce him the way she wanted. 

"What happened to '_if you want to, it's okay_?'" she asked. 

"Well...I changed my mind," he insisted stubbornly. Sighing, Max moved back up to look him in the eye again. 

"Logan...I'm going to put this to you real simple," she announced. "Let's face it, last night was bound to happen sometime, and whether or not it was a mistake, well...who can tell? I don't know if I'm going to be married to you someday or if I'm going to have to leave next week. In the mean time, there's a little bit of time that we have in light of the moment and if you intend to use it talking about something that we'll never get anywhere with, fine, but please talk and bang at the same time." 

The bluntness of her words hit her only moments after they fled from her mouth. Logan's eyes filled with surprise, but not displeasure. 

"While we're getting to the point of things," Logan said, trying to hold her still so he could talk. She took an odd about of pleasure in the fact that he found her squirming so un-nerving. "Sleeping with you is...well, phenomenal, but I'm not willing to risk having you walk away because sex got in the way." 

Max froze as she was about to shut Logan up -- well, relatively anyway -- with her hand in midair. She was positive that no one had ever said anything even remotely similar to what he had just said to her before. 

"You're saying you'd rather we be just friends than be lovers who break up?" she asked. 

"Yeah...that's what I'm saying," he replied, rolling out from under her. 

"Why?" She was genuinely puzzled, everything he was saying completely conflicted with her previous notions about men. 

"If it's just sex to you," he said, the rich tone of his voice wavering, "then let's face it, we don't really need one another for it. I'm sure your aware that just about any guy you asked would be willing to leap into your bed. I'm not into being just another lay." He turned, his wade back facing her, and Max was stunned. 

_ Here I thought I'd be the one with all the emotional entanglements, and Logan's worried that he means nothing to me...._

"Logan..." Max sighed, not liking the role she was being forced to take on in comforting Logan's bruised feelings. "You're asking too much too soon. What do you want from me? For me to lay my heart in your hands just because we had a fling?" 

His muscles tensed and he shot up quickly in the bed, his eyes pinning her down. 

"I expect you to drop the damn cynical tough girl act," he replied heatedly. "I'm tired of having to dig for everything so you can hide behind Manticore for the rest of your life! I'm sick of guessing how you might be feeling because you're too tough to ever admit something's got to you. I know I'm not the best looking guy in the world, that I'm not the best lover or even half decent boyfriend material...but for once it'd be real nice for you to be honest with me!" 

"Honest with you!" Max was the one to jump up this time. "I've been more honest with you than any other person in my entire life, Logan! You think I tell you all about Manticore because it makes good small talk...that I just enjoy reliving it? You go on spouting about how you don't want to become just another notch on a fucking bed post, and yet you somehow just blindly walk past the fact that I've tried my fucking best to give you everything you've ever asked for! How about some recognition for me? When do I become more than the employee, Logan?" 

They both sat quietly for a moment, each taking in what the other had said. They each had the presence of mind to blush with embarrassment as it came to their attention just how their actions were viewed by the other. 

"You really think that I consider you just an employee?" Logan finally asked. 

"You really think that I'd sleep with you just for some fun?" Max retorted. 

"I don't you know..." he rubbed his eyes. 

"Don't what? Think I'd screw you just for the hell of it, or think of me as another Eyes Only worker?" Max was still feeling oddly hurt, although she refused to admit that her pain was coming from the fact that they'd reached a raw center of nerve she'd tried to keep carefully hidden. 

"Both," he answered, waving a hand through the air. "I just...God, this got out of hand...I just wanted to know that sleeping together was as meaningful to you as it was to me." 

She pulled the covers up to cover herself, suddenly feeling self-conscious. A stinging lingered at the back of her eyes, but she refused to let Logan see her cry, especially at something as silly as their conversation. 

"I'm not into sleeping around," she replied, aware of her voice breaking. Logan's head spun to look at her at the sound, the muscles all through his upper body tensing in a wave of worry. 

"Max, are you okay?" he asked, moving back over to her. His hand came up to her cheek where his thumbs gently teased her skin. The protective, worried action was nearly her undoing. Logan did care, there was no denying that any longer. The question was, could Max possibly ever give enough of herself to satisfy their relationship? 

"I'm fine," she insisted, turning her face to look away from him. 

"No...you're not...I'm sorry," he buried his fingers in her hair and pressed a kiss to her jaw. "Maybe I am asking too much too soon." 

"And...maybe I do hide behind Manticore and cynicism too much..." Max gave in, albeit hesitantly. The admission granted her a soft smile from Logan's lips, which moments later were touching her own. 

"I didn't mean for the argument to go that far," he murmured against her. "I'm sorry." Logan, with Max's nod indication her acceptance of his apology, became the aggressor. He slowly kissed her, working her mouth expertly until she was breathing hard. Slowly, expertly, he lowered himself on top of her, his hands grazing her sides. 

"Logan?" 

"Hmm?" 

"You don't give yourself enough credit." 

He pulled away from her momentarily. 

"What do you mean?" She continued to allow her own hands to roam until they came to rest at his hips. 

"You said something about not being the best lover in the world," she said, her voice low. "I'd have to say you're definitely in the running, if not the winner." 

"You think so?" he laughed, moving seductively on top of her with a cocky grin. 

"Well, I don't really have a lot of evidence to go on yet..." she smiled back. 

*** 

Hours later than Max had ever gotten out of bed in her life, she and Logan wandered out of the hotel. The man at the desk took their money with a knowing smile. His hazel eyes took one glance at the overly satisfied couple before he came to the conclusion that their lover's quarrel was over. In fact, Logan and Max had done little since their early morning argument but make up for it. 

Actually, she was starting to like the idea of having Logan for a lover. 

"Where are we anyway?" she asked when they got into his car. 

"I'm not really sure," Logan shrugged, putting the key in the ignition. "Someplace between Coeur D'Alene and Gillette." 

"Helpful," Max replied, rolling down her window to let in the fragrant early afternoon air. 

"Actually, we should be able to just get back on the highway going East and we can't really miss it," he shrugged. "Not exactly hard to navigate this place." 

"You've got a point," she admitted as she stretched and yawned. Logan watched her out of the corner of his eye. 

Max felt good, better than she'd felt in a long time. A content kind of satisfaction sunk deep into her, permeating her very core and filling her with more peace than she'd ever remembered feeling. The only hitch she could find in the beautiful spring day was that she had no family to share it with. Zack's absence from her life continued to nag her. 

"How long do you think until we get there?" she asked. 

"A few hours yet at least," he shrugged. "We probably shouldn't have stayed in bed so late." 

"We weren't in bed the whole time," Max reminded him. Logan blushed with embarrassment. 

"You have a point," he admitted. "But, you knew what I meant." Max grinned at him from her side of the car. Sun splashed happily in through the window, landing in her lap. Max had never been a person to be very fascinated by the world around her, but in that singular moment she looked at the golden sunshine and it was a beautiful thing. She moved her hand through it, delighting innocently in the way it arched through her fingers. 

"Logan?" 

"Yeah?" 

"What do you think of me...I mean, really?" she asked. "I don't mean 'you're a good girl' or anything like that...like, _really_, what do you think of when you look at me?" 

"Well..." Logan seemed to stumble over his answer. "I'm not sure how you want me to answer that, Max." 

"It doesn't matter how I want you to answer it," she insisted. "This morning you said something about how we never really tell each other the truth, so let's start...when you see me, what do you think?" 

He bit at his lip and his hands tightened on the steering wheel. Max patiently watched him and waited for his answer. She could almost see the wheels in his head turning, searching for some hidden trap in her question. His hesitation, his inability to throw out his most inner feels and know they were safe with her, made Max apprehensive. 

"I suppose I see," Logan paused, swallowing deeply, then started over again. "When I look at you, Max, I see a woman who I am...very fond of...one who is beautiful and has a strength of character that surpasses that of anyone I've ever met." 

"Really?" Max asked. "You don't see a genetically engineered killing machine? You don't see Max, the Chimera?" She found it hard to believe that he found it so easy to look past the blood on her hands. Logan was so vastly different than her on so many fronts it was hard for her to merely accept that he was okay with her past. 

"Sometimes," he admitted. "Well, some of it anyway. I find it hard to think of you as a killing machine." 

"I have you know." 

"What?" 

"Killed people." She waited for his reaction to the statement. In truth, Max had almost certainly caused her fair share of deaths in her time, but it wasn't something she'd call murder. Despite all of her training, she was finding her heart to be perilously soft. Seeing someone's wide, frightened eyes brought up only disgust in her. 

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?" Logan asked suddenly. 

"Of what?" 

"That you're a bad person," he replied. "You're not. I've seen you do wonderful things, Max. You're a good person...better than most really." 

His answer was pleasing to her. The fact that Logan saw someone within her -- someone she desperately wanted to be -- brought a certain amount of hope into her life. A soft smile curving her lips, she leaned across the car and placed a kiss on his rough jaw. 

"Thank you," she murmured against his skin. 

"Anytime," he replied, shifting a little in his seat. 

"Sometimes, I look at Zack and I see Manticore," Max announced. "Then, I turn around and suddenly I see a brother who loves me. Maybe he's not typical, but I suppose he's the only family I have...I haven't had one for so long..." 

"You really miss him, don't you?" Logan asked, sounding a little surprised. "Must be a girl thing, I'm not as fond of my family." 

Max didn't reply, but looked out the window at the passing landscape. Maybe it was a girl thing, the need to feel protected and safe. Zack's wing around her shoulders was one of the best things she'd felt in a long time, surpassed only by Logan's. Still, there was an empty spot within her that was waiting eagerly for Zack to fill. He was the one thing no one else in the world could be, a _brother_. 

"He's all I have," Max shrugged. She'd clung to him, to the idea of him, for so long that she was finding it increasingly difficult to let go. Max had never experienced the ideal brother-sister relationship with Zack...the kind where he'd beat up a bully making fun of her or would let her curl up in his bed during thunder storms. However, Zack had been her purpose up until she met Logan. Dreams weren't so easy to let go of. 

The sunshine filtered down through the downy sky onto the green, rolling plains. The scenery was almost unreal and seemed to stretch on into oblivion. Somewhere, beyond the hazy humidity and lightly swaying foliage Zack was waiting to be found, and Max intended to find him. 

***Hey all, on a side note, I'm thinking about re-writing my story The Key to iron out a few wrinkles that have really been bothering me...think I should post the new version of it?*** 


	7. Conclusion

Rating: R

Disclaimer: I don't own DA

A/N: Okay, last part...I hope you've all liked this story. Really shipperish, I know...but I suppose that's not necessarily a bad thing :-) Anyway, I should be able to, maybe, get a lot done in the next few days because I'm homebound (I'm sick). Thinking maybe I'll just skip school and hang around in bed Monday...lol

Wind of Change

Max stepped out of the car into the hot, furious sun. The temperature had been rising steadily during the day and rivulets of sweat trickled between her shoulder blades. The humidity had dissipated, making the heat somewhat more bearable, but she could still feel her pulse in her head as blood rushed past her temples toward her brain. 

Gillette sprawled out before her across the dusty Wyoming countryside. A heavy feeling settled in the bottom of her stomach as her eyes surveyed the familiar town. The buildings weren't huddled together like in Seattle, in Gillette the houses had big lawns and more than a little elbow room. The whole atmosphere of the place was laid back, sleepy...to Max, it was hell.

"Somehow I imagined more...darkness," Logan announced, coming around to her side of the car to stand beside her. The wind, which never stopped blowing around Gillette, was a gentle Chinook. His scent rode on it over to her, tingling in her nose. 

"It's there," Max announced. "You just have to look for it."

Slowly, she started walking down the street, looking down at her feet. The pebbly pavement passed by giving no indication of who or what had come before her. Logan fell into step beside her, his head up and able to face the benign town with no indication of fear. Max, however, felt her heartbeat quicken.

The ground passing below her was the same cement and rock she had looked at years before as she fled. Then it had been filled with sludge from the half melted snow. She remembered the biting pain of the gravel spread across the street under her feet as she ran, the strange sensation of snow mixed with the yellow spray used to melt ice coming up between her toes. Her memory of the experience was strong and clear enough to make her want to vomit out of pure disgust. 

"We could ask around about him," Logan suggested.

"Ask around about him only a few miles away from Manticore?" Max hissed. "I don't think so. All the people here are probably involved."

Logan's sharp, intelligent gaze pinned her. 

"Max, it's absurd to think that the entire town is part of it," he finally replied.

"Like hell," she whispered, her voice taking on a note of fury with her anxiety. "You honestly think a pissy little town like this thrives on the tourist industry? The people who live here are here because they, or someone in their family, works on the base."

"Considering the clandestine nature of Manticore," Logan whispered back, leaning close to her, "it can be assumed that a good amount of people don't know what their family does."

She looked up at him, biting nervously on her bottom lip. Her mind told her that he was right, that it was safe to follow him, but her instincts told her to run. She was struggling with her resolve when Logan grabbed her arm in a flurry of movement, pulling her up against his side.

"Don't think I've seen the two of you around here," a woman announced, walking up to them. She was taller than Max with rich, chestnut colored hair. The smile crossing her lips was amicable, but Max felt threatened.

"We're just passing through," Logan grinned charmingly, wrapping an arm around Max's shoulders. "Looking for a nice place to stay for the night."

The woman's eyes went back and forth between Max and Logan for only seconds before a blinding smile flashed across her face.

"Lovebirds, huh?" she asked. "There's a small motel about a block away, it's not great but it's comfortable and safe."

"Thank you," Logan replied, allowing his fingers to play with Max's dark, thick hair. 

"Oh, well, you're very welcome!" she chirped in return, obviously taken in by his charm. Max had been taught to use her body as a tool to get what she wanted out of people and she recognized the way he was dealing with the situation. She had to admit, she was impressed. 

"Back to the car," Logan announced, his face close to hers. He brushed a sweet kiss across her lips before turning around with her and taking long steps away from the Gillette resident. The woman, completely taken in by the act sent a light wave after them. 

"Well, that just made everything better," Max rolled her eyes. "In about five minutes the entire town is going to be talking about the horny couple who arrived looking for a place to shack up together." 

"Better than them talking about two suspicious looking people who arrived looking for someone," Logan shrugged. His arm, which was still around her, was oddly comforting. Her nervous heartbeat slowed and was replaced by a warm feeling that sunk deep within her. 

"Anyway," Logan suddenly started talking again, his mouth close to her ear and his voice a low whisper, "if Zack is here, he'd need someplace to stay." Max was relieved she had Logan to do the thinking for her. Being in Gillette once again had her so un-nerved that her thoughts were hazy. She was finding it hard to concentrate on the task at hand. 

"You're right," she admitted, allowing him to tuck her a little closer to himself. The day was hot, and the warmth from his body rose her temperature to the point of being slightly uncomfortable, but she didn't pull away. 

Logan's car was parked along the main street, along with every other car belonging to anyone out of their house. It was something she had noticed about small towns. Everything seemed situated toward one street allowing natives and tourists alike to parallel park along Main and walk safely to every store in town. 

Max tossed open the door and climbed in, feeling safer inside the vehicle than out on the street. Logan got in on the other side and, without speaking, started the car and pulled out of the parking spot. They had to drive for less than two minutes before the small hotel came into sight. 

She made a quick survey of the parking lot, searching for Zack's motorcycle. She didn't find it, but was determined not to allow her hopes to sink. As far as she knew, he'd just taken a trip to the store for some gum and would be back any moment. All she had to do was wait, and if Logan was right, he would come to her. 

"This trip is getting awfully expensive," Logan noted, pulling into the small parking lot. 

"I didn't think you'd care," she replied. 

"I don't really," he shrugged. "It's just that I only brought along so much money. I think if we have to go up to Canada I'm going to have Bling wire me some more." 

"We don't have to stay in hotels you know," Max said. "I don't sleep much, and you could always sleep as I drive." 

"Well, what's fun about that?" he asked, not meeting her gaze. They climbed out of the car, grabbing their bags on the way, and strode confidently into the tiny motel. There was a woman at the front desk who had a pair of glasses positioned near the end of her nose which she tilted her head back to look through as she read a thick, well used book. Max leaned slightly to see the cover only to be presented with large, scrawling writing and a large, muscled man leaning over a woman with a suggestively ripped bodice. 

Somehow, she'd doubted the volume was something more intellectual. 

"Hello," she smiled warmly at them. "Can I help you?" 

"We'd like to get a room," Logan announced. The woman smiled at him, setting the book down on the counter. Max's eyes were drawn back to the cover. She looked carefully over the man, the way his muscles were tightly bundled as he held the woman, her back arched and her hips pressed to his own. She looked back up at Logan who was waiting patiently for the woman to retrieve the key to a free room. 

She still remembered the feel of his skin against her own, the way they'd cried out for one another. Things between them had certainly gotten out of control. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine that their trip would find them in the shower together, or clutching each other on the hotel room floor. 

A long shudder passed hotly through her muscles. 

"Here you go, number twelve," the woman finally returned. "Pay when you check out." 

"Thank you," Logan smiled, taking Max's elbow in his hand. The gesture wasn't purposefully suggestive, but rather casual. However, it made goose bumps spring up all across Max's skin, despite the heat of the day. The sensation was slowly replaced by nervous apprehension as they walked in silence. The air itself seemed to be menacing, closing in around Max with its damp heat. 

"I hope he gets here soon," Max frowned up at him. "I want to get out of here." 

"If he doesn't show up by morning we'll leave," Logan promised. "I'll check and see if there are any more motels in town." 

"This whole place puts me on edge," she announced, looking momentarily over her shoulder. "Feels like someone's following me...or waiting to jump out of some shadow and attack me." 

"I think it would be a mistake on their part," Logan replied. "I highly doubt there's anyone here who could get the best of you." 

A door with the number twelve loomed in front of them. The numbers were made of a brassy metal, and the two was hanging at a crooked angle. Logan unlocked it with a slight flick of his wrist, allowing it to swing open in front of him on squeaky hinges. Max walked hesitantly inside, almost positive someone would be waiting to jump her. However, as she crept into the room, she found the space filled only with benign sunlight. 

"Calm down, Max," Logan said from behind her, one of his hands squeezing her shoulder reassuringly. The door clicked softly shut behind him, followed by the sound of him firmly locking it. 

"I don't like this," Max began pacing, anxiety rising it's ugly head in her heart. 

"Max, calm down," he repeated, tossing his suitcase onto the bed. 

"Damn it...why the hell would he come to this place?" she asked, growing more upset the longer she allowed fear to overtake her. 

"Max! You're not listening to me...cool it," Logan demanded. Swallowing, she tried to contain her paranoia. Her legs felt weak and she sat down on the edge of the bed, carefully controlling her breathing. 

"Sorry," she apologized. "It's just...this place is my own personal hell. Oh God...I hate being here." She pinched her eyes closed, hating the fact that she had to stay until morning. 

"He'll be here soon," Logan sat down next to her, his weight creating a trough in the bed, causing her to lean toward him. 

"Lydecker's out there somewhere, Logan," Max announced, looking up at him. "It wasn't even so bad when he was in Seattle because he was on my turf...but this is his home field." 

"He'll never know we were here," Logan replied. "Although I still doubt he's still alive. Zack's a much better shot than that." 

Max sighed, trying to let go of the feeling that everyone around her was just waiting for the chance to attack. She tried to remind herself of her training, that it was imperative never to show fear. During her time away from Manticore, she'd been able to let go of a good amount of what she'd been taught, and she blamed her current fear on that -- although she wasn't sure whether it was a good or bad thing. 

"Maybe I'll call Kendra," she announced. Logan reached into his pocket and handed her his cell phone. 

"Good idea, I'm going to check into seeing if there's anywhere else Zack could stay." He stood up and set to getting out his lap top. Max watched him out of the corner of her eye and slowly dialed, putting more thought into the action than was really necessary. 

"Hello?" Kendra answered after three rings. 

"Hey," Max replied. "How's things?" 

"Things are okay," she answered. "How about you? Calling with details I hope?" Max looked across the room at Logan who was sitting on the floor with the small computer in his lap. The details were very fresh in her mind, but they weren't something she wanted to share. 

"No, afraid not," she said. "Just calling to chat." 

"Just to chat?" Kendra asked. "That's hardly like you, Max...come on, details." 

"There's nothing to tell," she insisted. 

"Yeah, right..." She could almost see Kendra rolling her eyes. "Well, if you don't tell me I'm just going to have to make them up on my own." 

"Kendra...you're wasting your time," Max replied. "I'm just curious how things are back home." 

"Well, my date was pretty much a flop," she announced. "Didn't even kiss me. What's up with that? Does the guy think he's some kind of gentleman or what? Anyway, since I don't have any rich boyfriends like you who can afford just to take me out of town on a week long orgy, I got home early. And, before you even ask, the motorcycle is fine." 

"I'm sorry it didn't work out for you," Max said, a smile creeping onto her lips. Kendra had a way of making her forget her problems. It had something to do with the fact that she was always referring to Logan as Max's boyfriend, which put wild thoughts into her head and gave her a warm gooey feeling inside. However, it also had to do with the way Kendra viewed life. Everything to her was a game, life wasn't a struggle but a roller coaster ride. 

"Yeah well, his name's definitely not making the rolodex," Kendra replied. 

"I'm sad to hear that." It was a rare occurrence that a guys name didn't make the rolodex. "He must have really been a dud, huh?" 

"You have no idea..." Kendra sighed. "So, where are you?" 

"Wyoming," Max answered. 

"I thought you were going to Idaho." 

"Well, we did go to Idaho, but now we're in Wyoming." 

"The two of you have a strange idea of fun," she replied. "Why not go to California or Hawaii next time?" 

"Next time," Max smiled. She wondered if there would be a next time, or if as soon as she and Logan set foot back in Seattle everything that had transpired between them would be forgotten. Part of her hoped they could go back to their simple friendship, and another part wanted for the passionate relationship she had discovered. 

"So, are you having fun at least?" Kendra asked. 

"Yeah, actually..." Max replied a little hesitantly. She had been having fun anyway, a _lot _of fun, until they'd crossed the boarder into Wyoming. Even the name of the state filled her with dread. 

"Will you at least give me the details someday?" Kendra pleaded. "You know, so I can live vicariously through you and all." 

"I'm not telling you anything," Max replied. 

"Oh, so you admit something happened then!" Kendra squealed. 

"I didn't say that." 

"No, but you implied it," she insisted. "Just tell me one thing...was it good?" 

Max swallowed, a hot blush covering her cheeks. 

"Yeah," she admitted. 

"Ha!! I knew it!!" Kendra's voice rose an octave. "Ugh, I swear, it's not fair! You're off getting some while I sit here with only the motorcycle to keep me company." 

"She's pretty good company if you give her the chance," Max laughed. 

"Yeah, well...I'd better let you get back to Logan," Kendra announced. "Don't pull a muscle." 

"You're awful," Max shook her head. "Talk to you later." 

"Bye!" They both hung up at the same time and Logan looked up from his computer. 

"How's everything?" he asked. 

"Fine, Kendra's bummed about some date that she had," Max replied. "She's pretty sure that if I guy doesn't sleep with her on the first date that they'll never have a future together." 

"She doesn't know what she's missing," Logan replied, casting his gaze back down at his computer screen. "This is the only motel in Gillette, a few in the surrounding towns but nothing really close. If Zack's here, this is where he's got to be staying. We've just got to wait for him to show." 

"Great," Max sighed. "So, what do we do in the mean time?" 

"Something to keep your mind off things," he shrugged, closing his computer. "What do you want to do?" 

She looked down at the phone, hearing Kendra's voice all over again: the innuendo and the confidence that she and Logan belonged in a sexual relationship. Of course, in Kendra's mind, everybody belonged in a sexual relationship and it was only by some tragic circumstance that they weren't. She'd often wondered about that aspect of her friend. Why was Kendra so focused on the physical parts of life? 

The phone dropped from her fingers, and she looked back up at Logan. Her eyes met his, and for a moment, she didn't care that there was more to life than sex. 

"Oh...I think I have a few ideas," she grinned. 

*** 

Zack frowned to himself, hating the way Gillette made him feel. He'd been gone all day, searching until he found the base where he'd grown up. It still looked much the same as it had, an odd amount of trees surrounding Manticore's nest in the middle of nowhere like old, discarded bones. Seeing it, he'd almost been overtaken with terror. The entire place still filled him with tight anxiety. He was working his way up to facing his biggest fear, finding out whether Lydecker was alive or dead. 

Underneath him, his motorcycle vibrated. The sensation was somewhat comforting and allowed him to pretend he was in control when he so clearly was not. He lost himself in the movements of the machine that obeyed his every command. 

Lurching down the main street of Gillette, he made his way toward his motel. Tomorrow was another day, he could learn to face his fear later. Presently, all he wanted was a hot shower and a few hours of rest. He was very aware of the fact that he smelled awful. Dirt clung to his sweaty skin and in his hair. The day had been unusually hot, the Chinooks having come earlier than normal. The warm wind was still blowing even as a blanket of night covered the countryside. 

Exhausted, both physically and emotionally, he pulled into the motel parking lot. His gray eyes peered through the shadows, inspecting each car. None of them looked particularly threatening, none with armored siding anyway. He allowed his eyes to skirt past an oddly familiar shape, attributing the feeling to his weary, paranoid mind. 

_I don't know how long it takes a person to go crazy, but I've got to be getting close..._

He parked his bike, not really comfortable with leaving it outside but not comfortable having it in his hotel room either. Anyway, driving the vehicle into the motel would only cause people to notice him, the stranger, more than they already had. Undoubtedly, the entire town already knew he was there, they just didn't know who he was, or, if they did, they hadn't done anything about it. He didn't particularly feel like giving them a reason to become more suspicious. 

His thoughts a far cry from being coherent, he pushed his hands deep into his pockets and wandered drunkenly toward his room. Zack had never been drunk in his entire life, he hated loosing control in any situation, and loosing control of his body and mind scared him almost more than anything. It was just as rare that he allowed himself to become tired enough that his sanity deteriorated. However, laying on his back, looking up at the stucco Gillette motel ceiling, he hadn't been able to sleep. 

Sleep was something that, while Zack knew it was essential, took a backseat to his duty. Manticore training still lived deep within him, not allowing him to break with an honor commitment. His brothers and sisters depended on him, he couldn't afford to languish in fanciful dreams that only served to torture him, showing him a life he could never have. He dreamed of having a family, being able to travel to a place and really call it home. 

He paused, shutting his eyes and leaning his head back, calling the vivid images of a dream he'd had weeks before back into his mind. The gentle brush of a hand over grass, a delicate, feminine hand; and the smell -- _God, the smell_ -- was of fragrant, lush prairie grass and chilled lake water. The sun had sprinkled down on the heavenly scene, covering his skin with tangy flecks of gold he could almost hold in his hand. 

Zack longed to capture that innocent vision and store it in his heart, needing its soft honey to purge his soul of all the darkness it had collected. However, the pain of awaking from that dream, being thrown from Heaven back into Hell, still clung to him. 

A long sigh shuddering through the night, he came back to the present, and was immediately aware of a sound behind him. A low breath, a heartbeat...he could almost make out the tension radiating from the person's muscles. 

In a movement belying his former gait, he swung around, pulling his followers body up against his own with enough strength to break the average person's ribs. 

"Zack! It's me!" Her voice pierced the haziness of Zack's mind, and he immediately released her, aware of her scent clinging to him. Max tumbled away from him, sputtering momentarily before turning her hot gaze on him. 

"What the hell was that?" she demanded, coughing. 

"Sorry...I'm a little on edge," he shrugged. "Anyway, what the fuck are you doing here in the first place?" 

"Looking for you," she replied, waving a hand in the air. She then used it to push her dark hair behind her ears. Zack looked her up and down the length of her for a moment, liking what he was seeing. A pair of jean shorts, sandals, and a forest green tank top composed her entire outfit. Zack felt overdressed in his dark jeans and red t-shirt. 

Inhaling her scent for a moment, he wondered if she was really there or if she was some phantom of his overly exhausted mind. As he processed the smell, he noticed something fundamentally different about it that he couldn't quite pin point. He inhaled again, dissecting the aroma two more times before finding the oddity in her odor. 

_Logan. _

The tell-tale signature of his cologne clung to her skin and hair. She fairly stunk of him, letting Zack know just how much time they'd spent together while he'd been gone. Her skin was ruddy in a way it wasn't usually, and her lips were a little fuller than normal, presumably swollen from his kisses. 

Pain arched hotly through Zack's battered heart. He hated the thought of a man touching Max, _any_ man. As reluctant as he was to admit it, however, Logan was very near the top of the list of guys who -- assuming Zack could get over the initial disgust -- he would be happy to see his sister end up with. As any man in love, or indeed _brother_, was concerned other men and the woman concerned simply didn't mix. 

"Looking for me?" he finally managed to ask. "Why?" 

"You're my brother," she shrugged, scratching the back of her head nervously. 

"Your brother?" Zack asked, almost laughing. "You come into the pits of Hades to tell me I'm your brother? Give me something more than that, Max." 

"Something more than that?" They seemed to be getting in the habit of repeating one another. "What can be more than that? Zack...am I the only one who doesn't get to have you as the big brother? Am I the only one who doesn't get to be the little sister? Why do you keep walking away from me?" Her eyes, which had been spitting fire moments earlier, dimmed to drum a dull pain. 

"You know we can't stay in one place, Max," he whispered harshly, not wanting to draw attention in the middle of the night with a loud argument. "Lydecker's still out there somewhere, and as long as he's still breathing we're all in danger. It's about time you saw that." 

"You really think I don't see that?" she demanded. "Zack...I think about it everyday, but I'm done running from my problems. Manticore isn't everything, and all they ever gave us is one another. I want you in my life." 

"If you want me in your life," Zack asked, "then you're perfectly welcome to come with me." 

"That's not what I want," she shook her head. "I want the brother I've never had. You're the only family I have...I need you." 

"Need me for what? So I can sit and watch you throw your life away?" 

"Need you to be there," Max fired back. "Zack, all this wandering...it's no good for you. Can't you still feel it inside you? Manticore sucks the life out of you, why don't you see it?" 

"Why don't you see that this stupid emotional attachment you seem to have with Logan is going to kill you?" he asked in return. "Have you forgotten everything you've ever learned? We're not human, Max, and we never will be. _They're_ not like us, and no matter how hard you try you're never going to be one of them!" 

"You know what, Zack?" Max wiped something away from her cheek. "For a long time, you were the only thing that kept me going. I used to sit and dream about what things would be like when I finally found you -- that we would finally be together again and be a family. I thought you'd give me some purpose...some kind of reason for being. When I did finally find you, I found out that you aren't the figure I made you out to be...but you'll still always be my big brother." 

"I don't want to be your big brother." 

A sharp pain flashed through her eyes. 

"Why?" 

Zack swallowed hard, unable to say what was really in his heart. Being a brother made her his little sister, made her so much more than a comrade. It meant he had to care more, had to take the chance of laying his heart in someone else's hands. He was frightened of that feeling of helplessness, he didn't want to let down his steely defenses even to let someone as innocent as Max inside. 

"We're soldiers, Max," he said. 

_ Damn...don't look at me that way, Max! Oh, God...would it be so bad just to hold her? To be a family and know we're of the same blood...moving in the same rhythm of time? Yes!! Damn....yes...I can't let her in! _

"Goodbye, Zack," she smiled wanly. As she turned to walk away, Zack's heart leapt up into his throat and deep panic set in. 

_Don't let her walk away!! Oh, God...she's going to leave? What have I done? _

"Max...don't! Stop!" he pleaded. She kept walking, her back to him as she disappeared into the darkness. Zack's insides clenched, pulling into tight knots. 

_ She's leaving...leaving forever this time. I can't just let her walk away! Would it be so bad? Is she asking so much? Yes...shit...yes, she's asking a lot. Can I give her that? Can I be the brother she wants me to be, hold her hand at her fucking wedding? Watch her throw her life away to screw Logan Cale? What's so great about him anyway? Is it him she's walking back to? God...why can't I just give her what she's asking for?_

"Max...please," he was begging now, following her. "I need time...oh shit, God..._please_, I just need time!" 

He was aware of the element lacking in him, of the hole burned through his very core. He couldn't be everything she wanted him to be, not yet. Zack's hauntings were many, and despite his desire to be with Max -- with his sister -- he couldn't let go of the Manticore phantom which haunted his nights anymore than he could toss himself into her arms. 

"I'm not asking you to do anything more than be there," Max announced, turning around. "Not even in body if just in spirit. Zack...I've finally found my place, but I need you to make it complete." 

_Complete_...Zack needed her to complete him as well, to help fill the ever present void in his life. 

"Logan," Zack sighed. "Isn't he enough?" 

"He's not my brother," Max insisted. 

"No, he's your lover," Zack nodded, crossing his arms. "You can't expect me to like that...you can't expect me to hold your hand when you give birth to his damn children...but you must know that you're always on my mind." 

"In what sense?" 

"What does it matter?" 

"Will you visit? Talk with me? Not just drop by to tell me someone's about to try and kill me?" 

"Maybe," Zack shrugged, unable to make a commitment. He needed time, precious time, to work Manticore out of his system forever before he could move on to the dream he held inside, to the sun-filled meadow by the lake. 

"I'm going home, Zack," Max announced. "You know where to find me." 

*** 

Max looked down at her beeper, aware that it hadn't gone off the entire day. She'd and Logan had been back from their trip for two days, during which time she'd seen none of him. The trip, though not entirely disappointing, had ended on a sour note. Zack wasn't ready for the things she was asking him to give her. It was much the same way she'd felt for so long about her relationship with Logan, and still did to some extent. She couldn't blame him. 

"You look 'bout as sour as milk on a hot summer day, Boo," Cindy noted, coming up beside her. "What'cha thinkin' over?" 

"It's nothing," Max shrugged. 

"You know you can tell Cindy everything, cuz I'm down like that...right, Boo?" 

"Right," Max smiled. "Really, it's nothing." 

"Whatever you say," she gave up more quickly than usual. "How about you and me hit Crash later and check out the scenery, huh?" 

"No...I think I'm just going to head home." 

"Whatever you want." Cindy walked away, going up to Sketchy who'd just rode in from his last run. Herbal was busy pushing some piece of infinite wisdom on less than welcoming ears. Seeing her moment to get out without much of a fuss, she turned and climbed on her bike. Normal looked up as she left, but remained oddly quiet. 

The steady rhythm of peddling occupied her mind, letting her forget all of her busy and disturbing thoughts. She'd been torturing herself wondering if Logan was regretting what they'd done on the trip, if Zack was ever going to really be a part of her life. She wondered, not for the first time, if maybe sentimentality really was just phony. 

The high pitched squeal of her beeper nearly sent her peddling into a wall. Swerving, she lurched to a stop and glanced down to see the number. She wasn't surprised that it was Logan's. Blood pounding hotly through her system, she peddled furiously toward his building, only to hesitate once it came into sight. 

_What if he's just paging me to tell me it's never going to work out? What if he's paging me because it **is** going to work out?_

Swallowing her fear, she hopped off the bike, discarding it carelessly in the lobby. Only moments later, she was standing in front of his door, working up the guts to either knock or walk in. She decided on the former and gently rapped one tight fist against the strong wood. 

The door swung open only seconds after she knocked. Logan sent her a somewhat uncertain smile, and motioned for her to come inside. 

"I've got some good news for you," he announced, leading her into his office. 

"Oh?" Max hadn't expected him to actually have news, she more expected a long, involved, emotional conversation. She wasn't sure if she was disappointed or relieved. 

"I found this a a few seconds before I paged you," he announced, pulling up a file on his computer. "Lydecker's military file...look here." 

"Deceased," Max read aloud. "Died on active duty..." 

"Guess that mean's he'll be out of your hair for good," Logan announced, then gingerly touched the back of his head. "And mine too." 

"Can we trust it though?" she asked. 

"I don't see why they'd lie about it," he shrugged. 

"I guess you have a point." She sighed, running her fingers nervously through her hair, then -- much to her surprise -- yawned. 

"You can crash here tonight if you want," Logan announced, noticing her yawn. She waited expectantly for the next line which would invariably follow: _in the guest room, of course. _When it didn't come, she turned to look at him. 

"Crash here?" she asked. 

"Yeah," he smiled softly. "Here." 

*** 

Two Weeks Later: 

Max flopped down on her bed for the first time in weeks. Her body was well pleased and exhausted from all the time she'd been spending with Logan. The interaction between them had improved her mood, but she still ached from the loss of Zack. Her fingers laced together on her stomach, she sighed and closed her eyes. 

Something bothered her, something odd about the room. Rolling over onto her side, she cast her gaze around the room, trying to pin point what was out of place. For a moment, she assumed the oddity of the moment was that for once she was laying on a bed and Logan wasn't on top of her, or somewhere nearby, making her sweaty and breathless. 

That assumption faded, however, when she noticed a small, furry object on her pillow above her head. 

She leapt up off the bed, thinking it was a rat before her senses kicked in and she realized it was actually a small, black and white teddy bear. 

Curious, she reached out for it, picking the tiny, fluffy thing up in her hand. There was a small note attached to it, tucked under a stylish little bow around it's neck... 

_Max,_

_I figured a teddy bear is as good of a place to start as any._

_-Zack_

_*_I hope that font turned out readable!* 


End file.
